Santa Banta SMS Joke No. 5

Here is our latest 100 percent original Santa Banta SMS.

Santa Singh ke chote bhai Banta singh ko Cricket par satta khelne ki aadat thi.
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Batao Uska Naam kya tha?
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Nahi Pata?
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His name was "Match Fix-Singh"

Our Other Santa Banta Links:
Santa Banta Joke and SMS Series

Santa Banta Poor Joke

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Our 1st Anniversary !!

We would like to solemnly inform all our readers that www.poorjokes.in has completed one year in the blogging world.

On this aweful day,we would like to extend condolence for all readers who have been mentally tortured and regularly taken into virtual coma after getting exposed to high intensity, mind piercing, brain damaging PJs.

Let us pray for the grayed hair, chewed nails, torn clothes, broken monitors, crashed hard-disks and shattered spectacles of our readers. This is what inspires our Gareeb Jokes (Poor Jokes) team churn out deadly Poor Jokes and SMSes day in and day out from our half bald heads.

Amen.

To commemorate this ignominous occasion, we present to you our Top 10 posts in the last 365 days..

1. Rakhi Ka Swayamvar

2. Politicians Playing Cricket

3. Manmohan Meets Gilani

4. SMS Sher-o Shayari (Kabhi kabhi Mere Dil Mein..)

5. Mythological PJs

6. A Brief Joke

7. Shahrukh Khan Joke

8. Santa Banta Cartoon

9. Santa Banta on Christmas

10. IPL Ka Baap.. IKL

You May Also Like To Read:
Happy Birthday Poor Joke

Bhayankar PJ

Please dont get angry at us, after reading this Bhayankar Poor Joke.

Deepika was a poor girl who lived in a lonely Mumbai suburb and was about to give an interview tomorrow. The only means to commute from the suburb was the daily 7:30 AM Bus. She was all set for the interview next morning.
When she reached the Bus Stop, she found that the Bus had already left.She began to panic. The interview would decide the destiny of her life. She had to reach there at all costs. Suddenly an idea struck her mind!!!
She immediately sat on her mobile and Vrrroooommm she went on her mobile!!
How did this happen?? How could a mobile carry her to places???
How?
How?
How?
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Simple Yaar..
She had a BSNL SIM card.
And you must have heard its punch line
"BSNL, BEST hai mere liye"

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Lateral Thinking Quiz

Here is another thoughtful Lateral Thinking Quiz for you. Just take a quick look at the pictures below and find one appropriate word for it. (Please keep in mind that this is a PJ website. Dont expect much logic from us...)



Type in your answers at by hitting the reply button. We shall answer the quiz after you all have keyed in your guesses.

Win 1000Rs every month. Submit a Joke Competition

What happens when Politician Play Cricket !

Bolly Wood naam ke PJ bhare opposites

Bhayankar Funny SMS Joke

गाय हमारी माता है.. आगे कुछ नहीं आता है..
Here is a really Bhayankar PJ cum Funny SMS Joke sent to us by an unknown number. <

(Readers who want to get their jokes published here may share their jokes with us at poorjokes.in@gmail.com)

What would you get if the cow dances??
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"Guidance" (Gai-Dance)

If You liked this post, you may also like reading our other Poor Jokes on animals:
Bulla Ki Jaana Mai Kaun
Return of Bulla Ki Jaana Mai Kaun..
Elephant Series

Name the Show Quiz! !

Here is our latest Quiz, which obviously requires you to flex your lateral thinking muscles! ! ( And it is a really deadly PJ!!)
Take a look at the picture carefully. Based on the pictures, can you name a show being aired on television recently??
Dont know???
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???
???
???
It is simple yaar.
10 Foot Prints
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???
Abhi tak nahi samajhe??

It is 10 ka Dum. .

You may also like to read our previous PJ Quizes
Deadly Poor Joke Quiz
Gay PJ Quiz

Tagged

We have been tagged by Dhiman. So here we go.

Tag Rules: Copy to your own note, erase our answers, enter yours, and tag your friends. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real… nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question. Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: What's in a Name / Wondering Wanderer

2. A four Letter Word: Watt (joki hamare blog par aakar logon ki lag jati hai..)

3. A boy’s Name: Wajahatullah Wasti (this name is so nasty :-))

4. A girl’s Name: Wahida

5. An occupation: Watchman

6. A color: White

7. Something you wear: Watch

8. A food: Wada Pao

9. Something found in the bathroom: Waste (of the human kind :-))

10. A place: Wonderland (were we live with Alice)

11. A reason for being late: Washroom mein zyada der ho gayi... :-P

12. Something you shout: Wahiyaat !! (har Wahiyaat cheez mein Wah chupa hota hai :-))

13. A movie title: Woh Kaun Thi?

14. Something you drink: Walker (Johny Walker)

15. A musical group: VVangaboys (cheating cheating !!)

16. An animal: What's in a Name-WiaN & Wondering Wanderer-WW (ek se bhale do..)

17. A Street name: XXXXXXX

18. A type of car: Wagon R

19. A song title: Wah Wah Ramji, Jodi Kyon Banayi.. WaiN aur WW ko marai ho marai..

20. A verb: Wail

Deadly Poor Jokes

Galileo has always been an inspiration to our Poor Jokes think tank.
Here is our latest PJ dedicated to the wonderful astronomer....

Galileo apart from being a great astronomer was also a Football Fan. Galileo believed that he was a very good Goal Keeper. But whenever he tried his hand at goal keeping, he failed miserably and never conceded less than 10 goals in a match.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why even after trying so hard, he could not save goals for his team???
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Nahi Pata???
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Simple Yaar.

Because he was a खा-गोल शास्त्री ( Astronomer)
:-P

You may also Like to read our previous PJ on Galileo:
Sava-Sher PJ

Obnoxious SMS PJs

Statutary Warning:- Extremely obnoxious stuff below. Read at your own risk.
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Question:- Jin logo ko Kabj hota hai, police unko apne kabje mein kyon lena chahti hai?

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Answer:- Kyonki un logon ne Goo-Naah kiya hai !!

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Question:- India ke kis shahar mein Kayam Churna (a well known laxative) sabse zyada bikta hai (kyonki wahan har kisi ko kabj hai) ?

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Answer:- Guna (Goo-Naa) !!

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© PoorJokes.in

Non-Veg Joke No. 6

Michael, Francis and John are standing at the Gates of Heaven being interviewed by St. Peter.

"Ok you, Michael, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" "Let me be honest Peter. I've been seeing at least two or three different women a year all my married life". "Ok, your car in heaven is that Hyundai Santro there. Goodbye."

St. Peter turns to Francis, "How many times did you cheat on your wife??" Francis replies, "I must admit that in fifteen years of marriage I did cheat on my wife twice." St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that Honda Civic. Here's the keys. Get going!"

He then looks at John, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" John lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that in over twenty years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife. In fact, my beloved has been dead for two years now and I remained celibate the whole time!" St Peter replies, "Very impressive. Your car in heaven is that BMW Z4-M Roadster convertible. Goodbye!"

Michael and Francis have driven off and are in a car park nearby waiting for their friend. John turns up in his BMW but he is crying his heart out.

Michael asks, "Arrre! What's the matter with you? We should be crying. We're stuck with these cheaper models and you got an expensive BMW!"

Between sobs John explains, "I just saw my wife driving a Nano"

Funny SMS PJ on Rakhi Sawant

Question:- What song did Mika sing after Rakhi Sawant became angry with him when he kissed her?

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Answer:- simple hai boss...

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He sang his famous song with a twist..

Sawan(t) mein lag gayi aag.. Dil mera haai..

© PoorJokes.in

Deadly SMS Joke

Question:- What did Sardar Manmohan Singh (SMS) say to Mr. Nandan Nilekani when he joined Unique Identification Authority of India?

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Answer:- Abhi-Nandan Mr. Nilekani !!!!

P.S. - Here is our previous PJ on Nandan Nilekani

© PoorJokes.in

Rajiv Gandhi Blog Post

When we received the following forward a couple of days back, we immediately decided to post it on our website, although it does not qualify as a joke. Going through the list below, we began wondering what stopped the govt. from naming India's new nuclear powered sub-marine INS Arihant ("Arihant" means destroyer of enemies) as INS Rajiv Gandhi.

While the indian govt. missed this golden opprtunity, we at PoorJokes.in have decided to show our eligence to the Nehru-Gandhi family by naming this blog post after "Rajiv Gandhi".

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Following is the list of Government schemes and projects; universities and educational institutions; ports and airports; National parks and sanctuaries; sports tournaments, trophies and stadia; hospitals and medical institutions; national scientific and research institutions; University chairs, scholarships and fellowships; festivals; roads and buildings named after three members of the Nehru Gandhi family, Rajiv Gandhi, Indira Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru, which has been submitted to the Election Commission.
This list includes most of the projects, schemes and institutions funded by the Union Government and the Governments in the States.

Central Govt. schemes

1. Rajiv Gandhi Grameen Vidyutikaran Yojana;

2. Rajiv Gandhi National Drinking Water Mission;

3. Rajiv Gandhi National Crèche Scheme for the Children of Working Mothers, Department of Women & Child Development;

4. Rajiv Gandhi Udyami Mitra Yojana;

5. Indira Awas Yojana

6. Indira Gandhi National Old Age Pension Scheme;

7. Jawaharlal Nehru Urban Renewal Mission

8. Jawaharlal Nehru Rojgar Yojna

9.Rajiv Gandhi Shramik Kalyan Yojna;

10. Indira Gandhi Canal Project, Funded by World Bank

11. Rajiv Gandhi Shilpi Swasthya Bima Yojana

State Govt. schemes

1. Rajiv Gandhi Rehabilitation Package for Tsunami Affected Areas,

2. Rajiv Gandhi Social Security Scheme, Govt. of Puducherry

3. Rajiv Ratna Awas Yojna;

4. Rajiv Gandhi Prathamik Shiksha Mission, Raigarh;

5. Rajiv Gandhi Shiksha Mission, Madhya Pradesh;

6. Rajiv Gandhi Mission on Food Security , Madhya Pradesh;

7. Rajiv Gandhi Mission on Community Health, Madhya Pradesh;

8. Rajiv Gandhi Rural Housing Corp.;

9. Rajiv Gandhi Tourism Development Mission, Rajasthan;

10. Rajiv Gandhi Computer Literacy Programme, Assam

11. Rajiv Gandhi Swavlamban Rojgar Yojana, Govt. of NCT of Delhi

12. Rajiv Gandhi Mobile Aids Counseling and Testing Services, Rajiv Gandhi Foundation

13. Rajiv Gandhi Vidyarthi Suraksha Yojana, Maharashtra

14. Rajiv Gandhi Mission for Water Shed Management, M.P.

15. Rajiv Gandhi Food Security Mission for Tribal Areas, MP

16.Rajiv Gandhi Home for Handicapped, Pondicherry;

17. Rajiv Gandhi Breakfast Scheme, Pondicherry;

18. Rajiv Gandhi Akshay Urja Divas, Punjab;

19. Rajiv Gandhi Artisans Health & Life Insurance Scheme, Tamil Nadu;

20. Rajiv Gandhi Zopadpatti and Nivara Prakalpa, Mumbai;

21. Rajiv Arogya Sri programme, Gujrat State Govt. Scheme;

22. Rajiv Gandhi Abhyudaya Yojana, AP;

23. Rajiv Gandhi Computer Saksharta Mission, Jabalpur

24. Rajiv Gandhi Bridges and Roads Infrastructure Development Programme;

25. Rajiv Gandhi Gramin Niwara Prakalp, Maharashtra Govt

26. Indira Gandhi Utkrishtha Chhattervritti Yojna , HP;

27. Indira Gandhi Women Protection Scheme, Maharashtra Gov;

28. Indira Gandhi Prathisthan, Housing and Urban Planning Department, UP Govt

29. Indira Kranthi Patham Scheme, Andhra Pradesh ;

30. Indira Gandhi Nahar Pariyojana, State Govt. Scheme;

31. Indira Gandhi Vruddha Bhumiheen Shetmajoor Anudan Yojana, Govt. of Maharashtra

32. Indira Gandhi Nahar Project, Jaisalmer, Govt. of Rajasthan

33. Indira Gandhi Niradhar Yojna, Govt. of Maharashtra;

34. Indira Gandhi kuppam, State Govt.. Welfare Scheme for Tsunami effected fishermen;

35 Indira Gandhi Drinking Water Scheme-2006, Haryana Govt.

36. Indira Gandhi Niradhar Old, Landless, Destitute women farm labour Scheme, Maharashtra Govt.

37. Indira Gandhi Women Protection Scheme , Maharashtra Govt.

38. Indira Gaon Ganga Yojana, Chattisgarh;

39. Indira Sahara Yojana , Chattisgarh;

40. Indira Soochna Shakti Yojana, Chattisgarh;

41. Indira Gandhi Balika Suraksha Yojana , HP;

42. Indira Gandhi Garibi Hatao Yojana (DPIP), MP;

43. Indira Gandhi super thermal power project , Haryana Govt.

44. Indira Gandhi Water Project, Haryana Govt.

45.Indira Gandhi Sagar Project, Bhandara District Gosikhurd Maharashtra;

46. Indira Jeevitha Bima Pathakam, AP Govt;

47. Indira Gandhi Priyadarshani Vivah Shagun Yojana, Haryana Govt;

48. Indira Mahila Yojana Scheme, Meghalaya Govt

49. Indira Gandhi Calf Rearing Scheme, Chhattisgarh Govt.

50. Indira Gandhi Priyadarshini Vivah Shagun Yojana, Haryana Govt.

51.Indira Gandhi Calf Rearing Scheme;

52. Indira Gandhi Landless Agriculture Labour scheme, Maharashtra Govt.

Sports/Tournaments/ Trophies

1. Rajiv Gandhi Gold Cup Kabaddi Tournament;

2. Rajiv Gandhi Sadbhavana Run;

3.Rajiv Gandhi Federation Cup boxing championship

4. Rajiv Gandhi International tournament (football)

5. NSCI - Rajiv Gandhi road races, New Delhi;

6. Rajiv Gandhi Boat Race, Kerala;

7. Rajiv Gandhi International Artistic Gymnastic Tournament

8. Rajiv Gandhi Kabbadi Meet

9.Rajiv Gandhi Memorial Roller Skating Championshi;

10. Rajiv Gandhi memorial marathon race, New Delhi;

11. Rajiv Gandhi International Judo Championship, Chandigarh

12.Rajeev Gandhi Memorial Trophy for the Best College, Calicut;

13. Rajiv Gandhi Rural Cricket Tournament, Initiated by Rahul Gandhi in
Amethi

14. Rajiv Gandhi Gold Cup (U-21), football;

15. Rajiv Gandhi Trophy (football;

16. Rajiv Gandhi Award for Outstanding Sportspersons;

17. All Indira Rajiv Gandhi Basketball (Girls) Tournament, organized by Delhi State

18. All India Rajiv Gandhi Wrestling Gold Cup, organized by Delhi State

19. Rajiv Gandhi Memorial Jhopadpatti Football Tournament, Rajura;

20. Rajiv Gandhi International Invitation Gold Cup Football Tournament,
Jamshedpur

21. Rajiv Gandhi Mini Olympics, Mumbai

22. Rajiv Gandhi Beachball Kabaddi Federation;

23. Rajiv Gandhi Memorial Trophy Prerana Foundation;

24. International Indira Gandhi Gold Cup Tournament;

25. Indira Gandhi International Hockey Tournament

26. Indira Gandhi Boat Race;

27. Jawaharlal Nehru International Gold Cup Football Tournamen;

28. Jawaharlal Nehru Hockey Tournament.

Stadiums

1.Indira Gandhi Sports Complex, Delhi ;

2.Indira Gandhi Indoor Stadium, New Delhi ;

3.Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium, New Delhi ;

4. Rajiv Gandhi Sports Stadium, Bawana

5.Rajiv Gandhi National Football Academy, Haryana;

6.Rajiv Gandhi AC Stadium, Vishakhapatnam

7.Rajiv Gandhi Indoor Stadium, Pondicherry;

8. Rajiv Gandhi Stadium, Nahariagun, Itanagar;

9.Rajiv Gandhi Badminton Indoor Stadium, Cochin;

10.Rajiv Gandhi Indoor Stadium, Kadavanthra, Ernak;

11.Rajiv Gandhi Sports Complex , Singhu

12.Rajib Gandhi Memorial Sports Complex, Guwahati ;

13.Rajiv Gandhi International Stadium, Hyderabad

14.Rajiv Gandhi Indoor Stadium, Cochin;

15.Indira Gandhi Stadium, Vijayawada, Andhra Pradesh;

16.Indira Gandhi Stadium, Una, Himachal Pradesh;

17.Indira Priyadarshini Stadium, Vishakhapatnam;

18 Indira Gandhi Stadium, Deogarh, Rajasthan

19.Gandhi Stadium, Bolangir, Orissa

Airports/ Ports

1.Rajiv Gandhi International Airport, New Hyderabad, A.P.

2.Rajiv Gandhi Container Terminal, Cochin

3.Indira Gandhi International Airport, New Delhi

4.Indira Gandhi Dock, Mumbai

5.Jawaharlal Nehru Nava Sheva Port Trust, Mumbai

Universities/ Education Institutes

1.Rajiv Gandhi Indian Institute of Management, Shilong

2.Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Aeronautics, Ranchi, Jharkhand

3.Rajiv Gandhi Technical University, Gandhi Nagar, Bhopal, M.P.

4.Rajiv Gandhi School of Intellectual Property Law, Kharagpur, Kolkata;

5.Rajiv Gandhi Aviation Academy, Secundrabad ;

6. Rajiv Gandhi National University of Law, Patiala, Punjab;

7. Rajiv Gandhi National Institute of Youth Development, Tamil Nadu;

8. Rajiv Gandhi Aviation Academy, Begumpet, Hyderabad, A.P;

9.Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology, Kottayam, Kerala;

10. Rajiv Gandhi College of Engineering Research & Technology, Chandrapur, Maharashtra

are among the 98 institutions named after Rajiv, Indira and Jawaharlal Nehru.

Awards

1.Rajiv Gandhi Award for Outstanding Achievement

2.Rajiv Gandhi Shiromani Award

3.Rajiv Gandhi Shramik Awards, Delhi Labour Welfare Board

4.Rajiv Gandhi National Sadbhavana Award

5.Rajiv Gandhi Manav Seva Award

6.Rajiv Gandhi Wildlife Conservation Award

7.Rajiv Gandhi National Award Scheme for Original Book Writing on Gyan Vigyan

8.Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna Award

9.Indira Gandhi Prize for National Integration;

10.Indira Gandhi Priyadarshini Award;

11.Indira Priyadarshini Vrikshamitra Awards, Ministry of Environment and Forests

12.Indira Gandhi Memorial National Award forBest Environmental & Ecological;

13. Indira Gandhi Paryavaran Purashkar;

14. Indira Gandhi NSS Award

15. Jawaharlal Nehru Prize" from 1998-99, to be given to organizations
(preferably NGOs) for Popularization of Science;

16. Jawaharlal Nehru National Science Competition

17. Jawarharlal Nehru Student Award for research project of evolution of DNA

are among the 51 named after the family members.

Scholarship / Fellowship

1.Rajiv Gandhi Scholarship Scheme for Students with Disabilities

2.Rajiv Gandhi National Fellowship Scheme for SC/ST Candidates,

3. Rajiv Gandhi National Fellowship Scheme for ST Candidates,

4. Rajiv Gandhi Fellowship, IGNOU;

5. Rajiv Gandhi Science Talent Research Fellows;

6.Rajiv Gandhi Fellowship, Ministry of Tribal Affairs;

7. Rajiv Gandhi National Fellowship Scheme for scheduled castes and scheduled tribes candidates given by UGC;

8. Rajiv Gandhi Fellowship sponsored by the Commonwealth of Learning in association with IGNOU;

9. Rajiv Gandhi science talent research fellowship given by Jawaharlal Nehru Centre for advanced scientific research are among others named after the family members.

National Parks/Sanctuaries/ Museums

1.Rajiv Gandhi (Nagarhole) Wildlife Sanctury, Karnataka;

2.Rajiv Gandhi Wildlife Sanctury, Andhra Pradesh

3.Indira Gandhi National Park , Tamil Nadu;

4.Indira Gandhi Zoological Park , New Delh;

5. Indira Gandhi National Park, Anamalai Hills on Western Ghats ; ]

6.Indira Gandhi Zoological Park, Vishakhapatnam ;

7. Indira Gandhi Rashtriya Manav Sangrahalaya (IGRMS);

8.Indira Gandhi Wildlife Sanctuary, Pollachi;

9.Rajiv Gandhi Health Museum;

10.The Rajiv Gandhi Museum of Natural History

11.Indira Gandhi Memorial museum, New Delhi are parks and museums named after the family members.

Hospitals/Medical Institutions

1.Rajiv Gandhi University of Health Science, Bangalore, Karnataka;

2. Rajiv Gandhi Cancer Institute & Research Centre, Delhi;

3. Rajiv Gandhi Home for Handicapped, Pondicherry;

4. Shri Rajiv Gandhi college of Dental Science & Hospital, Bangalore, Karnataka;

5. Rajiv Gandhi Centre for Bio Technology, Thiruvanthapuram, Kerala;

6. Rajiv Gandhi College of Nursing, Bangalore, Karnataka;

7. Rajiv Gandhi Super Specialty Hospital, Raichur;

8. Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Chest Diseases, Bangalore, Karnataka;

9. Rajiv Gandhi Paramedical College, Jodhpur;

10.Rajiv Gandhi Medical College, Thane, Mumbai

are among 39 medical institutions named after the family members.

Institutions/ Chairs/ Festivals

1.Rajiv Gandhi National Institute of Youth Development. (RGNIYD), Ministry of Youth and Sports;

2. Rajiv Gandhi National Ground Water Training & Research Institute,
Faridabad, Haryana;

3.Rajiv Gandhi Food Security Mission in Tribal Areas

4.Rajiv Gandhi National Institute of Youth Development;

5..Rajiv Gandhi Shiksha Mission, Chhattisgarh;

6.Rajiv Gandhi Chair Endowment established in 1998 to create a Chair of South Asian Economics

7 Rajiv Gandhi Project (Pondicherry) - A pilot to provide Education thru Massive Satellite Connectivity upto grassroot Level are among 37 named after Rajiv, Indira and Nehru.

Roads/Buildings/ places

1.Rajiv Chowk, Delhi;

2. Rajiv Gandhi Bhawan, Safdarjung, New Delhi;

3. Rajiv Gandhi Handicrafts Bhawan, New Delhi;

4. Rajiv Gandhi Park, Kalkaji, Delhi;

5. Indira Chowk, New Delhi;

6. Nehru Planetarium, New Delhi;

7. Nehru Yuvak Kendra, Chanakyapuri, New Delhi;

8. Nehru Nagar, New Delhi;

9. Nehru Place, New Delhi ;

10. Nehru Park, New Delhi Nehru House, BSZ Marg, New Delhi, are among 74 named after the family members..

And now…Rajiv Gandhi Bandra Worli Sea Link.

Deadly Poor Joke Trivia

This Poor Joke Trivia is dedicated to India's Olympic Gold Winner Vijender Singh The method of playing is simple. Just post your Name and start "Punch"ing Your answers!! The answers are hidden in the options available!
To pass the test you need to score 70 percent marks atleast ! You get a certificate at the end of the quiz.
All the Best!!!

Vijender Singh Deadly PJ QUiz » Quiz Question Maker

Happy Rakhi

The PoorJokes.in Team wishes all it's readers a very happy Rakhi !!

5 Ways to Make Your Blog Successful

Everybody would agree that writing blogs is an art ! Talented Bloggers are like artists; they have the art to make an ordinary post look special, their each line appear to be stolen from Shakespeare. Or Sometimes it appears as if Shakespeare himself has descended in their bodies and makes them write such beautiful lines.

Data from www.technorati.com suggests that one blog is created by netizens every three seconds. If this is the speed at which blogs are being created and posts written, I would personally like to request to the Almighty to grant a Monthly Seasonal Ticket (MST) or a Travel Card with 10 percent discount (Delhi Metro type) to Poor Shakespeare so that he could commute from one blogger to the other helping them out in their next award winning posts!

Sadly enough Shakespeare cannot land into every Tom, Dick and Harry's body. So other talented souls often visit our planet to help bloggers out in their struggle to blog. Like the great Laxmikant Berde(LB) often visits mine and thats how I get the inspiration to write such great stuff day in and day out ! And to let you people know, Laxmi is the one to make GreatBong what he is today. Hope LB does the same for me as well !

I had a long discussion with LB about how to succeed in this blogworld full of cut throat competition. The only other phenomena to match the exponential growth of bloggers around has been the splurge in the number of MJ fans in India. These fans had been content listening to pure bollywood and bhojpuri songs on their favorite radio stations through their Samsung Guru mobiles; and the very next day after poor MJ departed, they turned into his fans and purchased all his CDs, tapes, mp3 in the town. Not able to understand a line MJ sang, these die-hard fans are the culprits behind making "Michael Jackson Lyrics" the number one searched item on the internet off late.

Anyway, last time LB came down here, he gave me 5 tricks to make my blog the most popular and my adsense account amongst the richest.What I hate him the most for is that I have a feeling that he has already spilled the tricks to other people too. Thats why I have decided to let all my readers know tricks to be a successful blogger ! Here is a quick five pointer:

You scratch my back and I scratch yours technique: Make trivial comments like "Nice post.. Your blog is the best!!" on 100s of other blogs everyday, hoping that some of them will return to your blog and increase traffic.

The Apna Haath Jagannath technique: Make multiple anonymous comments on your own blog praise your own posts with phrases like, " 1) I am speechless after reading such an amazing blog..2) Am I lucky to visit this place...3) Are you the next J K Rowling??..." . It will give an impression that your blog is followed by a lot of people and readers try to join the bandwagon.

Ego Search/twitter/stumble technique: Search about your blog on google. Then track it down. The trick is to start searching from after the 10th page. Thats where you can expect your blog to be. Then religeously click your link every hour until your page rank goes up.Apart from this Twittering about your blog with tweets like, " here is the funniest post I have ever read .... " also helps.

The Blackmailing/Threatining Technique: Start pressurising your friends and colleagues to visit your blog. Dont forget to ask them to hit the ads once they come. It is well known that simple coersion doesnt work here. A threat to spam or leave suicide notes on your friends name if your demands are not fulfilled generally works well !

"Become the Rakhi Sawant of the Blogging world" technique: Be controversy's best friend. Make most posts on controvertial topics regularly. Tease Shiv Sena, IIPM or Barkha Dutt. Sooner or later, someone will take offense and your blog will hit the headlines.

I still feel LB hasn't unveiled all the techniques to me yet! Please help me out and let me know the remaining so that I could make my blog rich and famous as well !

Ajit Jokes SMS Collection - Part 2

(Scene --> Ajit murders a man.)
Ajit : Raabert, Is aadmi ko Hero Honda ki tank mein dal do.
Raabert : kyon baas?
Ajit : Fill it, shut it, forget it!
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Boss : Raabert!
Rab : Yes, bass?
Boss : Yeh "bus" mei kuch hawa daal do.
Rab : Lekin, kyon bass?
Boss : Yeh bus "Airbus" ban jayega.
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Ajit : Raabutt, use TNT se uda do !
Raabert : Lekin baas, TNT kyon, dynamite kyon nahin ?
Ajit : Bevokoof, is-se yeh NTT se nan-NTT ban jayega
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Raabert: Boss, ye ladki ne hamari saab bate sun li. Is ladki ka kya kiya jaye?
Ajit: Raabert, ees ladki ko maar do, aur iski choli par do traps laga do.
Raabert: vo kyon boss?
Ajit: Bevakuf, jub police ko ladki ki laash milegi to police samje gi ke ladki boob-y trap ho kar mar gayi!!
-----------------------------------
(After a local bad guy crosses Ajit)
Ajit: Raabert, ees aadmi ko maar Dalo aur ees ki laash ke saath aek kela (banana) aur thoda milk rakh do.
Raabert: vo kyon boss?
Ajit: Aare bavekuf, jub police ko lash milegi to police samajegi ke koi cereal killer ne eeska khoon kiya hey.
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(Ajit is really pleased with the dinner at a restaurant and wants to compliment and reward the chef)
Ajit: Raabert, ye chef ne aachha khan banaya. Tum ees ke ghar jao aur ees ke ghar ki bell nikal do. Bell ki jagah tum peas rakh do
Raabert: vo kyon Boss?
Raabert: Bevekuf, mein ees ko no-bell pea sur prize dena chahta hun

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Scene: Raabert had triplet and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?
Ajit: Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.
Raabert: Teesra ka naam "Wang Chung" kiu boss???!!!
Ajit: Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi...is prithwi me paida hone waalaa har teesra bachcha Chinese hota hai.
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Ajit: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
Raabert: Stool, boss ?
Ajit: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.
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Scene: Ajit get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
Ajit: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajit: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi.
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Scene: Raabert and Ajit go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
Ajit picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...
Ajit : No more !
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Raabert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
Ajit : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide hua hai.
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Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajit: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.
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Ajit: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.
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Ajit: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
Raabert: kyu boss ?
Ajit: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena.
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Ajit: "Raabert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do, great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi"
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Ajit: "Is ex-Miss India ko Middle East lekar maar daalo. Marne ke baath bhi will not rest in peace. Nahin to Hemendra Godbole ka crossword puzzle ka anagram clue de do, uska 'real fun' se 'funeral' ho jayega."

Ajit Jokes SMS Collection - Part 1

Raabert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.

Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.
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Scene: Ajit thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.
Ajit: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajit: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaart hand to seekh legi.
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Ajit: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger start kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajit: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
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Scene: Ajit comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
Ajit: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara to Pain se mar jayega.
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Ajit: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega
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Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajit: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
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Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajit: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!
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Scene: Ajit spots one of his is enemies...
Ajit: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
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Scene: Ajit is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
Ajit: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett (cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal on..off..on..off
Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajit : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
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Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajit: Raabert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
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Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
Ajit: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein ticket dete-dete thak jayega.
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Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !
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Raabert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajit:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
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Scene: Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajit: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi aa jaayegi.
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Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajit: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega.!
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Scene: Raabert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajit: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me OUT lik do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega !!
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Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajit : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajit: Repeater.

Funny Friendship Day SMS Collection

The following SMSes have been contributed by Mr. Funny-sh Murthy.
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A good friend is like a good bra.
Hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, holds u up when r down &; always close to the heart.
Happy Friendship Day !!

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Love is like chewing gum, whose flavor wanes with time!
Friendship is like chocolate, whose taste lasts till the end!
Happy Friendship Day !!
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A good friend is like a computer; u 'enter' my life, i 'save' u in my heart, u 'format' my problems & i never 'delete' u from my memory!
Happy Friendship Day !!
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Friendship is not about "I am sorry", it is about "Kaminey, sab teri galti hai"..
It is not about "I am here for you", it is about "Kahan hai saale"..
It is not about "I understand", it is about "Sab teri wajah se hua manhoos"..
Happy Friendship Day !!
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Dost, tum loosemotion ki tatti nahi, jo girte hi bikhar jaye..
Tum wo solid lade ho, jo flush ke baad bhi apne nishan chodd jaye..
Happy Friendship Day !!
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Please send in your entries as well...

Elephant at Aishwarya's Shooting Poor Joke

The latest news around Bollywood is that there has been an incident at the shooting of ‘Ravana’ in the forests of Kerala. Abhishek and Aishwarya were to do an action sequence with an elephant. Aishwarya was to be on it and minutes before the shot was to be taken the elephant went beserk. He went mad around the sets sending everyone, unit member cast and crew running for cover into the forest.

This is not the first time such things have happened at Aishwarya's Shoot.. There have been two such incidents in the past when people got mad at her Shoots. Our next cartoon is dedicated to one such incident! !
Here is our Poor Joke (PJ)(SMS JOKE) based on this incident ! !

http://static.toondoo.com/ToonDoo.swf?userName=gareebjokes&id=891920

by gareebjokes | Create your own Cartoon at www.toondoo.com

SMS Content: Santa : " Oye, First it was Salman to get Mad for Aiwhwarya. Then Vivek.. And Now and Elephant ! ! Kamaal Hai!! "