Abhishek and Aishwarya's Baby

Rumor Mills in Mumbai are rife with with the news that Abhishek and Aishwarya are expecting.

And what's more, they have even thought of a name for their yet to be born baby.

Can you guess what is it?

.

.

.

.

.

It is obvious..

.

.

.

.

.

They will call their baby ---- 98546 34543

What An Idea, Sirji !!

Christmas Poor Joke

Q:- What is Santa Clause's brother's name?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A:- Banta Clause !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Bollywood PJ

When John Abraham bashes up a bad guy in a movie, what does the bad guy tell him?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He says, "John !! Ab raham (अब रहम) !!"

© Gareeb Jokes

Real Life Comedy. Bush "Shooe-d" at Baghdad

Ok. I know this is not a PJ. But could not stop myself from posting this one.. Afterall our readers do need to have some breathers from PJs as well..



An Iraqi journalist was wrestled to the floor by security guards after he called Mr Bush “a dog” and threw his footwear, just missing the president.

The soles of shoes are considered the ultimate insult in Arab culture.

During the trip, Mr Bush and Iraqi PM Nouri Maliki signed the new security agreement between their countries.

The pact calls for US troops to leave Iraq in 2011 - eight years after the 2003 invasion that has in part defined the Bush presidency.

Speaking just over five weeks before he hands over power to Barack Obama, Mr Bush also said the war in Iraq was not over and more work remained to be done.

His previously unannounced visit came a day after US Defence Secretary Robert Gates told US troops the Iraq mission was in its “endgame”.

‘Size 10′

In the middle of the news conference with Mr Maliki, a reporter stood up and shouted “this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog,” before hurtling his shoes at Mr Bush, narrowly missing him.



“All I can report is a size 10,” Mr Bush said according to the Associated Press news agency.

He He,
I salute Mr Bush for his wacky reply and great fitness.He surely is a role model for his Indian counterparts. I am sure none of the Indian leaders have the fitness to dodge and safeguard themselves the way Mr Bush did.

Separated at Birth? - Part 5

Manoj Prabhakar

Javed Miandad

Similarity contributed by Aseem Baruaole

Click here to know more about "Separated at Birth"

Worst PJ of the year !!

Warning:-

The following PJ is liable to cause serious and permanent brain damage. Please read at your own risk.

दुनिया में दो तरह के लोग होते हैं -
.
.
दूकान वाले....
.
.
और
.
.
.
.
दो कान वाले !!!

© Gareeb Jokes

Separated at Birth?

Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean)

Nandan Nilekani

P.S. - Some of our readers have wondered what is "Separated at Birth" all about.

Click here to know more about "Separated at Birth"

Santa Banta on Sadhvi Pragya

Santa:- Do you know why Police has arrested Sadhvi Pragya?

Banta:- No. Why?

Santa:- Because she was a Jogun !!

Banta:- So what?

Santa:- Are bhai, Jo Gun leke ghumega use Police to pakde gi hi !!

© Gareeb Jokes

PJ on George W Bush

As George W Bush's tenure as the President of USA draws to a close, here is a PJ dedicated to him....

Q:- What is George Bush's favorite movie?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer:- "Kabhi Al-Quaeda Na Kehna"

© Gareeb Jokes

Kanjoos PJ

Q:- What do you call a miser Parsi ??
.
.
.
.
.
A:- Simple hai boss.... "Parsi"monious !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Intellectual PJ

A renouned professor was taking a class on Supply Chain Management in an IIM.

Prof asks, "Can you tell me the most outstanding example of lean manufacturing in the construction industry?"

Someone from the back benches replies, "The Lean-ing Tower of Pisa !!"

PJ on Baldness

Today is a day when bald men across the world come together and pay their respects to the thing they love most in life.. their lost hair !!!

.

..

...

Why??

....

.....

......

Because today is "Baal Divas" !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Deadly PJ

VERY VERY DEADLY PJ

What do you call the business with which cows are related?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Dairy?
?
?

Nahi.!!!
Ye to puraana naam hai...
Kuch naya socho!!!!!!!

!
!
!
!
?????
Gwala??
Nahi!!!!!!!
!!!
!
!
It is called as
Go (cow) - Rakh - Dhandha...(Gorakhdhandha)

Mhuhuhaahahaa..
:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Poor Joke, Santa Banta Jokes now on Your Mobile!!!!

http://static.toondoo.com/ToonDoo.swf?userName=gareebjokes&id=440641

by gareebjokes | Make your own at www.toondoo.com

Guys,
This is good news for all Gareeb Jokes Fans!!!!!!

GareebJoke Fans can receive the choicest Santa Banta Jokes, Heart-Breaking PJs , Chutkules and Deadly Humor (HU-MAR :-P) on their "Mobile Phones" absolutely free!!!! All they have to do is to subscribe via the link given below:

http://labs.google.co.in/smschannels/subscribe/GAREEBJOKES

So what are you waiting for????
Become a member now!!!
Gareebi Zindabaad!!!
:-)


PS:
1. We are strictly against spamming. So you need not worry about your inbox getting cluttered with nonsense.
2. We are strictly agains any joke which doesnt fall in the catagory of a "Poor Joke". So you need to worry about the "WTF" feeling after you read our smses.

Thanks,
THE GareebJoke(Poor Jokes) TEAM.

Santa and Banta doing Goo-Gal !!

संता:- अरे बंता, देख वहां कितने बेशर्म लोग खड़े हैं. वो खुले आम मल्ल के बारे में बातें कर रहे हैं..

बंता:- क्या ज़माना आ गया है. लोग सरे आम Google ( गू - गल ) करने लगे हैं !!

© Gareeb Jokes

POOR JOKE (PJ) on INDIAN POLITICS

http://static.toondoo.com/embedToonDooV2.swf?userName=gareebjokes&id=432204

by gareebjokes | Make your own at www.toondoo.com

Here is the latest PJ from the SANTA AND PUNTER series. The topic this time is the Indian Lok Sabha Elections coming soon...

We request your feedback on the strip and the ways to improve it. Kindly give your valuable comments too...
PS: Move Cursor from left to right to see the complete strip..

© PoorJokes.in

Barak Obama PJ

On the occasion of Obama's landmark victory in the US Presidential Elections, we are re-posting a PJ, which was originally posted on September.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Barak Obama wins the US Presidential Elections.

Indian Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh calls him up to congratulate him.

What does he say?

.

.

.

.

"Mu-Barak" ( मुबारक ) Obama !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Mythological Poor Jokes (Ramayan and Mahabharat)

One the occasion of Diwali, when Ram returned to Ayodhya after this Vanvaas, here is a series of deadly mythological PJs...

1.Which character in Mahabharata watched Channel V from a distance of 1 km from the Television Set?? 

V-Dur. (Vidur)

2.Which was the most smelly character in Mahabharata? 

Gaandhari..

3.Which character was the most doubtable character in Mahbharata? 

Shak-uni...

4.Which character in Mahabharata was Ekta Kapoor's Favorite? 

Kkaran.

5.Which character of Mahabhrata could never win any competition ? 

Draw-padi.

6.Which is the most noisy character in Ramayana? 

Kai-Kai...(Kaikayi)

7.Which character in Ramayana had a liking for 2 carpets? 

Man-Do-Dari (Mandodari)

8.Which was the most sad character in Ramayana?? 

So-grieve (Sugreeva)

9.Which character in Ramayana was the favorite of Walt Disney? 

Wall-Micky (Valmiki)

10. Which character in Ramayana was the laziest ? 

Laxman . (Anyone who has seen him running between the wickets in a Cricket match will vouch for it !!)

© Gareeb Jokes

PJ Song in the movie "Heroes"

We have been seeing an influx of people who visit our blog and wonder, what the hell are these two stooges doing!!!!! They aint got any thing good to write or what????? Are they nuts?? How do they create such crap?? Why don’t they write some nice jokes which don’t fall into the category of a Poor Joke?? Why don’t they write something which doesn’t make us bang our heads on the walls…

This is to inform all such cribbers that we are not alone. Lyricists in the Indian Film Industry are falling short of new Ideas and have started scribbling PJs for creativity. The recently released movie “Heroes” starring Salman , Sunny, Preity Zinta has a song which shows the subtle inclination of the lyricist towards PJism…

Mainu hoya pyar baliye
Pehli pehli baar baliye
Dil wich aaja aaja
Banke qaraar baliye
Main mangaya si
Mannataa ve mannataa
Tu jo mile jindadi
Jannataa ve jannataa

Tera mera vyah soni chheti je karaiye
Agli basanta mainu “Santa Banta” chahiye
Hukm jo bhi tera hoga
Assi daavedar haan
Sajna ji daave tere
Saade dil te taar haan
.
.
.
.
You don’t believe us??

Ok here is the link to the song on youtube as well:

Lyricist Jalees Sherwani has surely taken PJism to new heights. We wish him good luck for the future and invite him to be a guest blogger at our place.
Cheers!!!!!

Famous Last Words..

What song does a Goat sing before being slaughtered in a butcher shop?

. . . . . . .

Kar chale hum fida jano tan sathiyon.. (कर चले हम फ़िदा जानो तन साथियों..)

Ab tumhare hawale Mutton sathiyon.. (अब तुम्हारे हवाले Mutton साथियों..)

:-D

Reader's Quiz :-

What song does a Hen sing before being slaughtered in a butcher shop?

© Gareeb Jokes

Delicious PJ: Aam Aadmi

एक आदमी को आम बहुत पसंद थे. उसे जब भी और कही पर भी आम नज़र आते वो उन्हें फटाफट खा जाता था. उस आदमी का नाम क्या क्या?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
हरामखोर (हर-आम-खोर) !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Sick Jokes

Santa Singh works for an MNC. He always applies for a single kind of leave. Sick Leave !!
Why ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he thinks he is always eligible for सिख leaves !!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh was initially going to play Michael Duglas' role in the movie Basic Instinct.
But he refused. Why ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because of the title of the movie - बे-सिख Instinct !!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

© Gareeb Jokes

Bhool Bhulaiya

Bhula Ram Bishnoi was a rich industrialist in Rajasthan. He used to live in a big mansion, and had scores of cars and 100s or servants. One fine morning, he went to office in his Mercedes. After working hard the whole day, he returned to his mansion at night.

To his utter surprise, he noticed that the nameplate in front of this mansion bearing his name had changed to Amitabh Bachchan !! As he entered the house, all his servants bowed to him, but referred to him as SRK. He pinched himself, wondering if it was a dream. The last straw was when his wife said to him, "Welcome home!! Sallu Darling !!"

How did this happen ?

Was this a conspiracy ??

Was it a practical joke ???

Was the industrialist dreaming ????

.

.

.

Are nahi yaar, the answer is simple.....
"Agar subah ka Bhula shaam ko ghar wapas aa jaye, to use Bhula nahi kahte !!"

© Gareeb Jokes

Funny cricketer

Here is a PJ dedicated to the visiting Aussie Team.

Q:- Who is the funniest Australian Cricketer?

.

.

.

.

.

A:- Michael Hussey (हँसी) !!

© Gareeb Jokes

The Lion King

Hemant was a mountain trekker and nature lover.He roamed in jungles and hills climbing the most difficult of tracks with utmost ease

During one such journey in the dense forests of Africa, Hemant decided to take a breather and prepare tea for himself. He collected some leaves and shrubs,lighted a fire, and made tea.
While enjoying his tea, a fierce Lion attacked him. Ready to tear him apart, the lion leaped on Hemant. Hemant fell on the ground and the tea dropped from his hands.
He knew he would not survive anymore. The Lion would surely kill him and have a feast. But he decided not to giveup and fight for his life.
He attacked the Lion and to his surprise, he was able to overpower him. He banged him left right and centre. The Lion was tamed to a Cat!!!! And he survived!!!!
How?
What had happenned all of a sudden?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
?
?
Nahi Pata??
?
?
?
?
?
Arey Simple Yaar...

When Hemant Dropped the T(ea), he became HEMANT - T = HE-MAN
.
.
.
.
:-P
.Happy Dushhehera..

© Gareeb Jokes

Dassehra Joke

On Vijayadashami, Ram Leela is held across the country. During this, a performer playing Lord Ram shoots a fire arrow at a large explosive leaden effigy of Ravan, which subsequently catches fire and gets demolished.

Q:- What song does the performer playing Lord Ram sing after the effigy of Ravan catches fire?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A:- The famous Mika song, with a twist...
Ravan mein lag gayi aag, dil mera haai.....

© Gareeb Jokes

Aaaloo Aaaloo

Former Pakistan cricket captain Inzamam-ul-Haq has filed a law-suit against the biscuit manufacturer “Priya Gold”.. because they used the punch-line- “हक से मांगो!!”

© Gareeb Jokes

Bainsla Par Faisla...

Move cursor from left to right to view the full comic strip.. :-)http://www.toondoo.com/embedToonDooV2.swf?userName=gareebjokes&id=373281

A poem by a frustrated mind..

Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai ...
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga mere liye ..
Vo ab se pehle na jaane kitnon ko dekh chuki hogi...
Par un sabko reject kiya hoga usne mere liye !!

Dusron ke affairs dekh, frustration dil mein liye..
Koi mujhko bhi milegi, hum isi ummeed mein jiye..
Jab khud se kuch na ho paye..
To chod dete hain hum sab khuda ke liye..
Yeh soch kar hi khush ho jate hain..
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga hamare liye ..
Par khuda bhi sochta hoga..
Main bhi kya karon aise nikamme ke liye..

Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai ...
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga mere liye ..

Apni kismat ki daastaan tumhe kya sunaae dosto..
Ki jalne se pahle hi bujh jaate hai saare diye...
Jo pasand bhi aae hamei koi ladki agar..
To milti hai agle din apne haath mai wo Rakhi liye..
Na school na college na job mai mili koi kanya..
Rahenge kuwaare ham ab poori zindagi ke liye...
Jo mil jae hamei Jannat ka koi darzi...
To de aae use apni kismat ki chaadar seeney ke liye....

Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai ...
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga mere liye ..
Vo ab se pehle na jaane kitnon ko dekh chuki hogi...
Par un sabko reject kiya hoga usne mere liye !!

© Gareeb Jokes

OSO

The level of lyrics in Bollywood is progressively going to the dumps. Most songs released in the recent past have amateurish lyrics that seem to have been written by college drop-outs. Even chart busting songs from big budget movies have weird lyrics like:-

...Main ghum aaya London, Paris, New York, San-Francisco.
Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

...Mujhe pata chala pichle mahine ki chabbis ko.
Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

Inspired by such crap, the authors of GJ have come up with their own crappy version of the song.

WW says..
Na jagao mere andar ke genious ko..

Apna motto, PJ maaro aur khisko..

Nacho Gao khake Horlicks ko..

PJ maaro.... bilkul na jhijhko....
Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..


WIAN says..
Is ghatiya PJ par maaro pakad kar isko.
Suno yeh ke sadi parody Sar peeto aur sisko..
Aage karo parody wahi ... Pitna hai jisko jisko
Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

WW replies..
Hum wo nahi.. pitne se darr lage jisko..
Hum nakam karenge teri is koshish ko..
Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

WIAN hits back..

Ise india se nikalo, bhej do isey mosco(w)
Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

© PoorJokes.in

Lazy Bengali

Once upon a time, there was a very lazy Bengali student who used to bunk his classes very often. He was called Bunking Chandra Chattopadhyay !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Scott Adams

What is Scott Adams favorite Hindi Movie Song?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It is this famous Sushmita Sen item number from the film "Sirf Tum" -
Dilber(t) Dilber(t), haan Dilber(t) Dilber(t),
Hosh na khabar hai, yeh kaisa asar hai,
Tumse milne ke baad Dilber(t),
Tumse milne ke baad Dilber(t).....

© Gareeb Jokes

Return of "Jab Se Tere Naina.."

Continued from here.
-------------------------------------------
If Mr. Bappi Lahiri buys a Tata Nano, what will his fans sing??
.
.
.
.
They will sing the famous Lata Mangeshkar song from the movie "Caravan".

dilbar, dil se pyaare, dilbar
dil kee sunataa jaa re , saaree duniyaa haari hamase, ham tujhape dil haare
dilbar dil se pyaare
Lahiri-Lahiri Nano waale, Lahiri Nano waale !!
-------------------------------------------
If Mamta Banerjee and Buddhadev Battacharya fall in love, what song will they sing together?
.
.
.
.
Nano karte pyaar tumhi se kar baithe,
karna tha inkaar, magar ikraar tumhi se kar baithe..
Nano karte pyaar tumhi se kar baithe !!
-------------------------------------------
Ufffff....
Sorry....
:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Jab Se Tere Naina

Here is a Cartoon dedicated to Our Favorite Didi Mamata Banerjee who has created a lot hullabaloo at Singur and has given a lot of sleepless nights to Mr Ratan Tata.
Hope you all enjoy it.. Comments are always welcome!!!!!!!

Return of Nagraj Series

Continued from here.

The following PJs have been contributed by Deepak Panwar.
----------------------------------------------------

Snakes ki favorite chewing gum.... Big Fun

Marne ke baad snakes ke upar kya dala jata hai...... Ka-Fan

Aur phir kabristan mein usay kya kar diya jata hai...... Da-Fan

June ke month mein snakes apne bill mein kya chalate hain...... Fan

A Snake's fav actress......... Gul Pa-Nag

Snake's motherland..... Anant-Nag

Snakes ek dusre ko kaise greet karte hain....... Best Vish-es

Hum brunch mein kya khate hain....... Snakes (Snacks)

Ek snake mera friend hai, and his name is...... Vish-al

Which ERP package do snakes use??....... SAP
----------------------------------------------------

And here is one sent by Chhaya
----------------------------------------------------

Q:- Whats a snake's favorite Subject????
A: - Hissssssssstory
:D

SANTA AND "PUN"TER"SERIES

Here is the latest Santa Banta Joke presented to you all from www.poorjokes.in
Hope you all have a blast...

Enjoy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Nagraj Series

Q:- जब किसी नाग को कॉमेडी करनी होती है तो वो क्या करता है??
A:- वो अपना "फन" ऊपर कर लेता है (and he becomes a fun-ny snake) !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- एक All-rounder नाग को क्या कहते हैं?
A:- हर-फन-मौला !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- एक intelligent नाग को क्या कहते हैं?
A:- फन-du (fundu) नाग !!
-------------------------------------------------------
:- एक नाग कि favorite movie क्या है?
A:- फन-ना (Fanaa) !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- एक artist नाग को क्या बोलते हैं?
A:- फन-कार !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- एक टपोरी नाग को क्या बोलते हैं?
अ:-फन-टूश !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- एक साँप को कौन से TV programmes पसंद हैं?
A:- साँप-Operas (Soap-Operas) !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- बहुत तेज़ भागने वाले साँप को क्या बोलते हैं?
A:- सर्प-अट (सरपट) !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- सापों के नेता का नाम क्या है?
A:- सर्प-अंच (सरपंच) !!
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:- जो साँप गाना नही गा सकता उसे क्या कहते हैं?
A:- ना-गा (नागा) !!
-------------------------------------------------------

© Gareeb Jokes

A Brief Joke

News Headline:-

Shop keepers across the country have refused to sell “Amul Macho” range of undergarments.

Reason sighted was that buyers used to curse the shop owners while purchasing them.

Every buyer used to say “Macho Do !!”

© Gareeb Jokes

Kaal Bhairav

Q:- What do you call a movie theater screening the movie “Kaal”??
.
.
.
.
.
A:- “Kaal” Center!!

© Gareeb Jokes

Bruce Lee Series

Q:- What happened after Bruce Lee died??
A:- He became Dead-ly !!

Q:- Bruce Lee ke gareeb bhai ka naam kya hai?
A:- Ku Lee ...

Aur use gardener cousin ka naam hai.. Maa-Lee !!
Uske Sharabi uncle ka naam hai.. Mawa-Lee !!
Uska favorite festival hai.. Diwa-Lee !!
Uska favorite deity hai.. Ka-Lee !!
Uska favorite music hai.. Qawa-Lee !!
Uska caste hai.. Banga-Lee !!

(For addtional impact, please recite the above lines like Ehsaan Qureshi :-))

Horrendous Joke

Raam aur Shyaam mein jhagda ho jaata hai..
Jhagda itana serious hota hai ki Raam , shyaam ko maarne ke liye kaala jaadu (black magic) karta hai, aur ek Chudail bhejta hai...
Chudail shyaam ke peechey pad jaati hai.. Aur uske khoon ki pyaasi ho jaati hai
Shyaam us se bachta hua apne ghar ke paas ek lane mai ghus jaata hai......

Chudail waha uska peecha karte hue gali mai ghus jaati hai aur ghuste hi paagal ho jaati hai Chudail finally apni jaan bachaakar bhaag jaati hai... Aur shyaam bach jaata hai...


Batao Aisa Kyu hua???


Batao kyu???

Batao kyu?????????????


.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

??

????


Nahi pata???



Kyunki...


Teri Gali "WITCH" aake...

Sab sudh budh hosh gavaake..

Deewani, paagal main tally ho gayi...

"Mein Tally (Mentally)" "Mein Tally" (Mentally) "Mein Tally" (Mentally) ho Gayi!!!!!
( Song from Ugly and Pagli)
Ufffff...
Ufff...
Sorry..
:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

James Bond

एक बार जेम्स बोंड इंडिया आया. यहाँ आकर वो एक ऑटो-रिक्शा में बैठा.

ऑटो-रिक्शा से उतर कर उसने ड्राईवर से पुछा, "कितना हुआ भैया?"

ड्राईवर बोला, "Rs. 5"

जेम्स बोंड ने उसको सिर्फ़ Rs. २.50 दिए. ड्राईवर ने गुस्सा होकर बोला "मेरा बाकि पैसा??"

जेम्स बोंड बोला, "ढाई Another Day !!"

Marketing

Once upon a time, a vicious gang of robbers roamed the cities of the country. They struck terror in the hearts of residents by their savage ways. After any robbery, they used to murder all witnesses of the crime. And after each murder, they rang a bell to celebrate their hideous deed.

Hence, the Gang was called "Maar-Ke-Ting" !!

Tasty Joke

News Update-
Bharat Heavy Electricals Ltd. (B.H.E.L.) is planning to open a new Plant in Puri, Orissa.
The Plant has been named- "B.H.E.L.Puri"

© Gareeb Jokes

SMS (Sardar Manmohan Singh) Joke

Fast forward to November 2008. Barak Obama wins the US presidential elections.

Indian Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh calls him up to congratulate him.

What does he say?

.

.

.

.

"Mu-Barak" ( मुबारक ) Obama !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Bappi-da Series

Bappi da's brothers....

One who gossips a lot.. Gappi Lahiri !!

One who kisses everyone he meets.. Puppy Lahiri !!

One who hugs everyone he meets.. Jhappy Lahiri !!

One who sleeps everywhere.. Nappy Lahiri !!

© PoorJokes.in

Anu Malik

Do you know how Anu Malik got his name?

Just after he was born, his father Mr. Malik Senior picked him up and said, "Here is A-New Malik !!"

© Gareeb Jokes

Dreamzzzzz

What do you call a person who never has dreams at night?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Swapn-nil !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Return of Bulla Ki jaana Mai kaun... :-)

Ok..
On public demand we are back with another edition of Bulla Ki Jaana Mai Kaun..:-)


---------------------------------------
Name the terrorist organization run by Bulls..??
?
?
?
?
He He...
Its Hiz-Bull..

---------------------------------------

Name the favorite workout of a Bull in a Gym???
?
?
?
?
Nahi Pata?????
?
?
?
Its a Bullworker...


------------------------------------------

What do you a call a not so intelligent Bull???
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

He He...
He is ia "Dumbull"


-----------------------------------------------

What do you call a weak bull???
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

There are two answers to it!!!!!
?
?
?
"Feebull" (Feeble)
.
.
.
And.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Nirbull"

---------------------------------------------

WHat is Bull's favourite ToothBrush???
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
It is "Babull"

----------------------------------------------

What do you call a Modest Bull???
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

"HumBull" Humble

------------------------------------------------------

What do you say when a Bull Falls down ??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
The Bull just "Tumbulled" (Tumbled).
---------------------------------------------------------

If you dont understand these jokes then what shall you call these jokes????
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
""IntangiBull" (Intangible)
-------------------------------------------------------------------

© Gareeb Jokes

A Dog's World

My dog has started a new project. I wish him "Best of Luck" for the project on which he has em-bark-ed !!
----------------------------------------------------------
My dog is a big football fan. He watches Bark-ley's English Premier League everyday !!
----------------------------------------------------------
My dog's favorite TV presenter is Bark-ha Dutt !!
----------------------------------------------------------
My dog's favorite Bollywood producer is Bone-y Kapoor !!
----------------------------------------------------------
My dog work's in Bhabha Atomic Research Center (B.A.R.C.) !!
----------------------------------------------------------

© Gareeb Jokes

TaSh(a)rif Rakhiye..

When Mr. Nawaz Sharif was deported from Pakistan some time back by Musharraf, Pakistan became Sans-Sharif !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Bulla ki Jaana Mai Kaun... :-P

What do you call a Chinese Bull????
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Its called a Bull-lee (Bully)..
:-P
-----------------------------------------------------------
Once a bull felt ill..The Bull went to the doctor. Doctor gave him an injection and he felt asleep immediately...
What was the name of the injection???
.
.
.
.
.
.
It is called a "Bull-Dozer"
:-P
------------------------------------------------------------
Who is the most artistic bull on Indian Era??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(MaqBull Fida Hussain) मकबूल
------------------------------------------------------------
What does a bull's wife call her husband ?????
.
.
.
.
.
.
हबीबुल (Hubby-Bull)
------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a beautiful bull ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
बुलबुल (Bull-Bull)
------------------------------------------------------------
Which phrase do punjabi bull's utter frequently while dancing?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bull-e Bull-e !!!
------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a pair of a Bull and a Lion hanging out together ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bullion (Bull-Lion) !!!
------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a bull coming from Mexico ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bulletin (Bull-Latin) !!
------------------------------------------------------------
Who was the 1st bull to be elected President?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A-bull Kalam !!
------------------------------------------------------------
Which country has the highest population of bulls?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bull-garia !!
------------------------------------------------------------
Which part of India has the highest population of bulls?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cham-bull !!
------------------------------------------------------------
What is a bull's favorite holiday destination?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ka-bull !!
------------------------------------------------------------
What are a bull's all time favorite bollywood movies?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mission Istam-bull and Ba-bull !!
------------------------------------------------------------
Where do all bulls go for pilgrimage?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maha-Bull-eshwar !!
------------------------------------------------------------
What is a bull's under wear called?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
बुलंदी (Bull-Undy) !!
------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a very heavy Bull???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He is called as "Bullky"
-------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a Bull who is a devotee of Sai Baba?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bull's Eye (Bull-Sai) !!
-------------------------------------------------------------

All the above jokes were quite Incredi-bull !!:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

PJ of the Month - Contender 2

Once upon a time, there used to be a man called Mr. Das.

One day, he had a son.

What was his son called?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mr. संडास (Son-Das)

© Gareeb Jokes

Short comings

Once upon a time in India, there used to be a rich industrialist whose height was just 4 feet.

Which car did he drive?

Hyundai Sonata.... since he was so नाटा !!

© Gareeb Jokes

WaCaow........

India has vivid pattern of treatments of illnesses.. Morarji Desai once the Prime Minister of India is always remembered for his self healing practices through Urine Therapy!!!!!! I have heard that Cow Urine Therapy works well for Cancer as well!!!

Anyways, all this made me think one day that What do we call patients who are treated by the ancient Indian Cow Urine Therapy!!!!!

Dont Know??

Dont Know???



Dont Know????

They are called as Go(गौ)-Sippers..

Uff...:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Menaka Vs. Pepsi

A few years back, Menaka Gandhi had filed a case against Pepsi, for animal abuse.

Reason:- Pepsi's punchline "Yeh Dil Mange More"

© Gareeb Jokes

Bi-King Joke

Q:- What do you call a quiet person driving a bike?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A:- Mum-Biker !!

© Gareeb Jokes

PJ of the Month Contender 1

Guys,
This one is seriously one of the best PJ posted over here.. We shall be tagging the best PJ each month and I think it should be one of the contenders...

There was a girl in a small town. Whoever met her asked her just one question:
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "

Why?
why??
Why???
Why????


Simple boss...

Her name was " Sweety Paan-dey" ( पान दे )

:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Pathetic Joke

Santa to Banta: " You know there is a Heroine in Bollywood who has tasted potty"
Banta: " ????? Who is She??
Santa: She is Mall-Licka....
Balle Balle....

© Gareeb Jokes

Santa The Priest...

Santa To Banta: How to convert a criminal to a priest????
Banta Singh : Use Perfumed Bada-Pav khilao....Wo priest ban jaega...
Santa: Kaisa???
Banta: Kyunki Perfumed Bada-Pav khane se wo Bada-Pav(Itr) ho jaega...

:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

If someone wud ask me where to find a funny joke , all i wud suggest is the address of any nearby sardarji in the colony... But something even more absurd has happened..
Scientist have found a formula of the perfect joke....
Here it goes...

The mathematical equation for the perfect joke has been revealed by scientists.

The formula - c=(m+nO)/p - was worked out by Helen Pilcher

In the formula, c is the funniness of the joke;
m is the "comic moment" which is arrived at by multiplying the punchline's funniness rating by the length of the joke's buildup.

nO is the number of times the subject undergoes a pratfall, multiplied by the "ouch factor" - the social and physical pain of the indignity involved.
The total is divided by the number of puns, p.
Puns are seen as dissipating the power of a joke because they tend to encourage groans rather than laughter

Jasoos Jokes

Q:- Why is Spiderman afraid of James Bond?
A:- Coz he is..... Spy - डर - Man !!


Q:- What is James Bond's favorite Jeans brand?
A:- Spy-Kar ( Spy कर ) Jeans !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Elephant series :-)

Elephant series :


1. Has anyone ever seen a nude elephant?
Yes?
:-p
No. All elephants have their trunks on. . .


2. What do you call when you find two elephants talking to each other?

Answer: a Trunk Call.
:-p


3. What did the elephant do when he ate from his trunc?

Answer: He just trunc-ate-d
:-p

© Gareeb Jokes

How marriage changes a man..

शादी मनुष्य के जीवन में वो पड़ाव है जब एक आदमी "हस्त" जीवन तो त्याग कर "गृहस्थ" जीवन में प्रवेश करता है..

© Gareeb Jokes

Mad Elephant

Once upon a time an elephant went mad... ( Why?? Go and ask the elephant!!!). He was running around like mad.. In Frenzy tearing through whatever he could get on...In short hell had broken lose everywhere..

He reaches a village where elections for the post of Sarpanch were on full swing.. Surprisingly does not harm anybody and goes right into the polling booth and tries to caste his vote!!!!!!!!

Why???
Why?????
Why????????

Because after he had gone mad, he became a"मत-वाला" हाथी...

:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Vikram Chatwal

Ever thought why Vikram Chatwal's ( Son of Sant Chatwal) chain of hotels are amongst the cleanest hotels around????

Coz Vikram himself licks (chat) the wall (Wall) to clean them....Thts why his name is Chat-Wall...
:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

The Jeffrey Archer of Archery- Limba Ram

Hi people. .

India once bragged up about an archer named Limba Ram, proclaiming that we found the Arjuna of Kalyug. But he turned out to be a flopstar as most of the Indian players in the Olympics.

So why did Limba Ram perform so poorly in most of the events he participated.. . ?

Because he seriously believed in giving his "limbs" "aram" all the time. .
:-p

© Gareeb Jokes

SMS Sher-o-Shayari (Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein..)

Hi guys.
Fasten up your seat belts. :-p

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mai khayal aata hai. .
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mai khayal aata hai. .
Ki agar mai hu bada boring. .
to mere muh se pani kyu nahi aata hai. .

Wah wah. .

© Gareeb Jokes

Mogambo Khush Hua !!

Recent news reports suggest that Boney Kapoor is going to produce a sequel to the 1987 blockbuster Mr. India. While Anil Kapoor and Sridevi are set to reprise their roles in the sequel, many are wondering who the villain of Mr. India 2 would be, as the legendary Mogambo (who is killed at the end of the original film) and actor Amrish Puri (who essayed the role) are no more.

I have the answer. I believe Shakti Kapoor will be the villian in Mr. India 2. And he will be playing Crime Master Gogo.

Why? Do you ask? Simple, since he is the self proclaimed Mogambo ka Bhateeja !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Privacy Policy

Privacy Policy for gareebjokes.blogspot.com

"Gareeb Jokes aims to create simple humor and pun. We do not intend to cause offense to any person, group, object or idea through our jokes. We hope readers will take all the jokes posted here in the right spirit."

If you require any more information or have any questions about our privacy policy, please feel free to contact us by email at gareebjokes@gmail.com.

At gareebjokes.blogspot.com, the privacy of our visitors is of extreme importance to us. This privacy policy document outlines the types of personal information is received and collected by gareebjokes.blogspot.com and how it is used.

Log Files
Like many other Web sites, gareebjokes.blogspot.com makes use of log files. The information inside the log files includes internet protocol ( IP ) addresses, type of browser, Internet Service Provider ( ISP ), date/time stamp, referring/exit pages, and number of clicks to analyze trends, administer the site, track user’s movement around the site, and gather demographic information. IP addresses, and other such information are not linked to any information that is personally identifiable.

Cookies and Web Beacons
gareebjokes.blogspot.com does use cookies to store information about visitors preferences, record user-specific information on which pages the user access or visit, customize Web page content based on visitors browser type or other information that the visitor sends via their browser.

Some of our advertising partners may use cookies and web beacons on our site. Our advertising partners include Google Adsense, Adbrite, Kontera.

These third-party ad servers or ad networks use technology to the advertisements and links that appear on gareebjokes.blogspot.com send directly to your browsers. They automatically receive your IP address when this occurs. Other technologies ( such as cookies, JavaScript, or Web Beacons ) may also be used by the third-party ad networks to measure the effectiveness of their advertisements and / or to personalize the advertising content that you see.

gareebjokes.blogspot.com has no access to or control over these cookies that are used by third-party advertisers.

You should consult the respective privacy policies of these third-party ad servers for more detailed information on their practices as well as for instructions about how to opt-out of certain practices. gareebjokes.blogspot.com's privacy policy does not apply to, and we cannot control the activities of, such other advertisers or web sites.

If you wish to disable cookies, you may do so through your individual browser options. More detailed information about cookie management with specific web browsers can be found at the browsers' respective websites.

A-Kali Dal

Q:- What is the most popular deity in Los Angeles?

A:- Godess KALI.. since Los Angeles is in “Kali”-fornia !!

© Gareeb Jokes

AaGay AaGay dekho, hota hai kya !!

Q:- What form of alternate medicine do Gay people take?

A:- “Homo”-eo-pathy !!

© Gareeb Jokes

As bad as it gets..

This landmark blog brings together 2 veterans in the world of PJs. We bring with ourselves more than 50 years (25 each) of rich experience in conceptualization, development and distribution of cutting edge PJs. We promise to deliver our readers the worst, most obnoxious and downright cheap PJs they will ever come across.

A promise is a promise !!

Talking of promises…

Q:- What do you call a man who keeps breaking his promise?

A:- Promis(e)cuous

© Gareeb Jokes