Gujju Jokes 3

As you all can see that I have started loving Gujju Jokes.. So here is another PJ dedicated to all Gujjus..

Why did the Gujju go to Rome?
To listen to Pop(e) music.

Bigg Boss 3 Contestants

Big Boss Season 3 is coming up again!!!! The show starts from Sunday October 4th 2009 on Colors. And with Amitabh Bachchan to replace Shilpa Shetty, the show surely shall have some good TRPs this time around!

Rumors are rife that this edition of Bigg Boss will have a lot of interesting personalities. Baba Ramdeo, Varun Gandhi, Vinod Kambli etc. are expected to participate this time.

The Poor Jokes team has done its own survey for Bog Boss Season 3 and has come up with the name of the probable contestants. In this exclusive report hacked from the big bos office , we came to know the qualifications seeked in a big boss contestant.
1. Contestant should have a track record of popping in media limelights often; he should however be unable to sustain the attention and then doom to solitude.
2. If the contestant is a male then he should be atleast married or a divorcee. Being married helps a man understand the virtue of being silent and hence his chances of survival in the show increases many folds.
3. If the contestant is a female then a past track record of affairs shall be taken into consideration. More the number of affairs, higher is the chance that the TRP of the show shall increase.
4. Contestants with certificates/copies of FIR, court case, conviction of Murder, Robbery, Bhaigiri, deportation shall be given preference.
5. A Male contestant with an eye for fellow males in the society and likewise shall get a higher preference.
6. If a contestant has a girlfriend or a boyfriend which possesses the qualities to qualify in big boss and are willing to exchange beds,kisses, bathroom soaps in the public, then they automatically qualify for Big Boss Season 3.
7. Successful but "Velle" (free) People have always have a higher chance of selection.
7. Other qualifying criteria include the ability to break out into impromptu dances any time, ability to shed glycerine tears without glycerine, ability to shout at the top of one's voice for hours.

Some people who could appear according to our survey are:
1. Shakti Kapoor. Aauu....
2. Gracy Singh. The lagaan fame girl
3. Chandra-Chud Singh. He was aishwaryas opposite in one movie .
4. Dhanraj Pillai. Succesful but vella
5. Shivraj Patil. Unsuccessful and vella
6. Greg Chappel. Ask Dada about him.

Do post your list of probable big boss contestants in the comments section.

Gujju Jokes

An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood.

The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied “Bapu…..now I have Gujju blood in my veins!”


That was just a joke I had found somewhere. But www.poorjokes.in is a website about poor jokes after all. So here is a Deadly PJ on Gujjus for you all!!!!!!!!!
Hope you all like it..

Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.

Poor Jokes in Hindi (Navratri Special)

And as we bid good bye to Navratri this year, here is a tribute by www.poorjokes in.
We hope readers take the joke in the right spirit as it is merely a playful humor.

Agar koi Gujju Ladki Navratri mai Pregnant ho Jae to usey aap Kya kahenge????
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Nahi Pata??

She will be called
GARBA-vati.

Funny SMS Jokes (Cartoon) No 15

Here is the Latest SMS Joke from www.poorjokes.in. And as usual to add a little bit of fun , I have made this in a cartoon Format for you all as well. . Hope you all enjoy it . .
:-)



The SMS Version

"What shall you find written on Mallika's Grave???
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"Pahli Baar Akele Soi Hai"

Personality Test!

Here you had a great chance to know about yourself. This test was devised by our very own Deadly Poor Jokes Team!!!!!!!
It tells about your personality just by your choice.

Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle.

You pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the hut, and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table.

In the middle of the table is a food tray with 5 types of fruits in it.

They are:

a. Apple

b. Banana

c. Strawberry

d. Peach

e. Orange

Which fruit will u choose?Your choice reveals one aspect of your personality!

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Here are the results.

a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat apple.

b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat banana.

c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat strawberry.

d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat peach.

e. if you chosen orange: that means you are a person who loves to eat orange.

Ufff!!!!
Sorry!!!!

Funny SMS Jokes on Dussehra

On the occasion of Dussehra, the Poor Jokes team presents 2 100% original SMS PJs for you...

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Every dussehra day, in Ram Leela grounds around the country, actors dressed as Ram fire arrows at effegies of Ravan, post which the effigies catch fire. What song does everyone sing after that?

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Everyone sings the old Mika song, but with a twist..

Ravan mein lag gayi aag.. Dil mera haai..

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Everyone knows that Ravan had 10 heads. But recent research by the Poor Jokes team has found out that each of Ravan's 10 heads had a different name by itself. The names are as follws..

Ra-one

Ra-two

Ra-three

Ra-four

Ra-five

Ra-six

Ra-seven

Ra-Eight

Ra-Nine

Ra-ten !!

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© PoorJokes.in

Santa Banta Joke No 14

Once Santa tells Banta, " Oye Yaar.. 2 din pahle mere saath tragedy ho gayi hoti.. Ye to Uparwale ka thankyou hai jo mai bach gaya"
Banta, " Aisa kya ho gaya tha tere saath???? "
Santa, " Mujhe Kobra ne Kaat liya tha!!!!"
Banta, " Kya baat kar raha hai!!!"
Santa, " Oye sach mai yaar!!!!
Banta, " Fir kya hua"
Santa, " Kya hona tha.. Mai bach gaya"
Banta, " Kyu Kobra zahreela nahi tha kya??"
Santa, " Bahot Zahreela tha"
Banta, " Fir kaise bach gaya?"
Santa, " Oye mai us waqt Living Room mai tha..."

Balle Balle

SUBSCRIBE

Hilarious Pictures

European And Middle Eastern Couples are always different. European Couples express their love with each other, however Middle Eastern Couples are generally quiet and a little shy.
Please take a look at the pictures below and understand by yourself the other BIG difference between the two. :D
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Funny Cartoon SMS

The less we speak about this cartoon, the better!!!
:-) Please have a look..





SMS Version

Q: What do you call a Man standing on top of Soo-Soo??
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A: Soo-Par-Man

Santa Banta SMS Joke Series No 13

After the recent election spree in someparts of the country, we have comeup with this Poor Joke on Politics. Hope you all like it....

Santa To Banta:- Which veteran Congress politician should have always been in the BJP?

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Santa:- Kamal Nath :-)

© PoorJokes.in

Khatarnak PJ

Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi bahu thi Serial has been the most stupid serial I have ever come across the Indian Television screen.
And my favorite character in the serial was one and only Ba. The best thing about Ba was that she never died ! ! No matter how many generations came and went away but she never died!!!
Here is a Poor Joke dedicated to our reverend "BA"

"Ba had a few children in the Serial Kyunki. One of them was MansukhLal Veerani. However she also had a child which the Producers never introduced in the Serial AT ALL!!!!!
Who was he???
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He was Ba-Ke-Lal (BankeLal)

Here is the Picture of Ba's well known Son...

Funny SMS no 14

This story is about the times when Aishwarya was the Brand Ambassador of Coka Cola. While shooting for its advertisement, Aish had a bottle of coke in her hand. A Suddenly from nowhere a mosquito came and jumped into Aishwarya;s bottle of Coke. Within seconds he came out and started Yelling at Aishwarya “Maa Maa”
Aishwarya as amazed seeing a mosquito calling her a mother. She shouted back, “ Why do you call me your Mother??”
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“Kyunki mai tumhari coke se nikala hu “ Said the Mosquito.




Here is the SMS Version of the Joke

"A mosquito jumped into Aish's Coke bottle. And came out shouting "Ma Ma".
Aish-"Why do u call me Ma"
Mosq-"Kyunki mai tumhari Coke(Kokh) nikala hu"

Letter Count: 149

Pakau SMS and PJ

Here are three back to back PJ Questions for you all!!!!!!!!
1.What comes after Dinner???
2.And what comes before Dinner???
3.What is the opposite of the Dinner????
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Nahi Pata????
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1. After Dinner comes E-ner.
2. Before Dinner comes C-ner.
3. Opposite of Dinner is Di-Nari .
:-P
Mhuhuhuhaaa....

Hot PJ

It is a little known fact that Kangana Ranaut, the Bollywood beauty, actually wanted to be a cricketer in her childhood. But she had to give up her childhood dream due to a peculiar reason.
Can any one gues????
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Its very Simple .....

Whenever she used to go out to bat, she used to get Run-out !!

© PoorJokes.in

Santa Banta Joke Series No 14

Hi Guys..
We are back with another Cartoon on our favorites Santa and Banta...
It happened when Sant went for a holiday trip to America... Please have a look..... ( Comments are appreciated!!! )

Funny SMS no 13 ( Krazy Kiya Re....)

This post is a combination of Poor Joke, A Trivia, A SMS Joke.. ( Ek post mai bahot saara Mazaaa!!!!!)
Without much footage I would like to bombard on you all my Joke. Hope you all like it and appreciate it by banging you heads on your tables!!! :-)
Which place in the world is always asking for Crazy People?
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Yoy dont know???

Its Silly-Kaun Valley

Santa Banta Joke PJ

Once Santa and Banta were Driving a bike. Both of them trying to chase each other down. In the attempt to chase Santa's bike flies off a bumper and hits an Eagle.
The eagle immediately fell on the ground .. Blood coming out of the eagle's head.
Santa and Banta stopped their bikes and looked at the poor eagle.. Santa Asked Banta, " Oye iska Kya karein"
Banta Replied, " Ise Veterinary Hospital le jaate hai."
Santa replied, " Ye to impossible hai"
Banta , "Kyu???"
Santa , "Bilkul Impossible"
Banta, " Magar Kyu???"
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Santa, " Kyunki Ye ILL-EAGLE" hai (illegal)
:-P

Ha HA...

Funny SMS no 12

Here is another super duper ROLF,LMAO,Funfilled,laughter SMS for you all.. I got this sms yesterday on my mobile phone. It could have been read by you all before. But I could not help but publish this one on www.poorjokes.in
I also made a cartoon of it for you all which I shall publish later. Hope you all like it..

"Neil Armstrong Lands on Moon and sees two man. He asks-Who are u?
Camera-Man Santosh ke Saath Deepak Chourasiya!!!! Aaajtak..."

Character Count 128

The Real Monk

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?





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The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.


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The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.


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The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.


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That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.


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The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,


We can't tell you. You're not a monk.


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The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.


If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?



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The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236, 284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219, 999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.



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The monks reply, Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk.


We shall now show you the way to the sound.


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The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.



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The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key?


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The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.


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The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...


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>...silver, topaz, and amethyst.


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Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door.


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The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight


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But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.


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SUBMIT YOUR JOKE CONTEST AUGUST WINNERS

Dear Readers,

It is indeed a pleasure to Announce the winners of the Submit Your Joke Contest August Month. We would also like to remind all our readers that the contest is open till the month of December !

There had been a total of 103 entries. And selecting the best one out of these was indeed a very difficult job. Without much footage we would like to announce the winner. The Winner is :

Nikhil Ghai

from Jabalpur (M.P.) He wins a first prize of Rs 1000.

And the award winning Joke is as follows

"Why is Holi the Favorite Festival of people suffering from Piles?
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Cannot Guess???
It is
Because Gu-Lal to unka pahle se hi hota hai.."

Other jokes/PJs submitted by contestants which were also worth reading are as follows (in no particular order):
Senders Name : KGBHAT

Santa jaa rahaa tha Dilli se Aagra.Raste pe ek station pe santa paani peene utara.Jab vaapas aaya santa ka gaadi choot gaya thaa aur usee jagah Aagra se Dilli jaanevaali gaadi aa khadee thi.Santa ko kya maaloom,gaadi me chad gaya aur usee neechewaali birth pe baith gaya.Oopar dekha tho Banta baitha hai oopar ke birth pe.Oye Banta, kahaan jaa raha hai? poocha Santa.Dilli jaa rahaan hoon,aaya jawaab.Santa bola"bhagwaan,teri kya leela hai,oopar baithe tho Dilli jaata hai aur neeche baitha tho Aagra jaata hai."

Senders Name : Hiren

who was the first INDIAN lady to faly in plane???

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socho socho...
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nahi pata???
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bata du???
she was SITAMATA with RAVAN in PUSHPAK VIMAN!!!!...

Senders Name: Nirmal

1. Teacher: Where do you find a nolegged dog?
Srudent: Right where you left him.

Senders Name: Keval

what will you call a sambar prepared by Mr.REDDY?????

it is "REDDY-MADE" sambar!!!

2. Ek Saap ne mujhe DUS diya......




Maine use 5-5 ke chutte diye...lol...

Senders Name: Vijita

Why is Ekta Kapoor planning to revive Kyunki Saas....?


Ans: She read somewhere that Tulsi can cure Swine Flu.

Senders Name: Aditya

what is frequency ka colour???.....
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think...
as we all know...
freq=1/time...
time ka unit is "sec"
1/sec is also called per second...

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in hindi bhasha,, second is called "pal"
therfore we get "per pal"
and thus its color is perpal or purple...

Senders Name: Kailash

ek aadmi ki biwi kho gayi.. rote rote ram mandir pahuncha aur prarthna karne laga. "Bhagwan, meri biwi dhundh do"..Bhagwan Ram prakat ho gaye aur bole,"Beta, tu galat jagah aaya hai, Hanuman Mandir ja.. Hanumanji se prarthna kar, meri bhi unhone dhundhi thi"

Senders Name: Pawan

Frustated Shayari:

Mere Dil ki malika.... Mere Khwabo ki Shehzadi....
Mere Dil ki malika... Mere Khwabo ki Shehzadi....

Dil Tod Ke chali gayi.....

Kutti... Kamini... Haramzadi...

Senders Name: Sumnesh

ek bar ek sherni bohot ugly hoti hai.use koi sher line nahi deta...
but vo ek bohot acchi shikarin hoti hai.ek di use ek tortoise milta hai(the one who won the race).wo usko pakad kar kahne vali hoti hai tabhi vo bolta hai"dekho mujhe mat maro.mai tumhari help karunga.mai bohot akalmand huu."
than sherni let him know his problem of uglyness.he replierd"bas itni si bat.tum is mountain ki cliff par jakar baith jaao tumhara kam ho jayega".sherni aisa hi karti hai.
jaise hi vo cliff par jakar baithti hai saare sher uspar line marna chalu.koi uspar rose fek raha,koi siti baja raha,etc.etc.
sab heran pareshan batao ye kaise possible hua....












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jab vo cliff par jake baithi to vo"sheone stone" ho gayi na(sher on stone)

The contest for 1000 Rs is still open every month till the month of December. So keep posting your jokes by

Clicking Here

A Very Deadly PJ Quiz.

What's this?



TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA

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Ise bata paane waaale ko advance mai mera salaam....:-)

As usual the answers shall be published on the comments section after three days...

Keep Guessing...

Frustrating Patient Poor Joke

Some patients can be really frustrating. Especially if they crack PJs. Here is our latest Poor Joke Cartoon Strip dedicated to such nerds which eat the brains of Doctors.
PS: It is the longest cartoon strip on poorjokes.in Your reviews on this would be really appreciated.

Santa Banta Joke Series No 12

Santa wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:

Tester: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Santa : SEVEN!

Tester : No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Santa : SEVEN!

Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, and two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?

Santa : SIX.

Tester : Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Santa : SEVEN!

Tester : How on Earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?


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Santa : I've already got one rabbit at home

Japanese Poor Joke

In a Japanese house a baby was born. It had tiny eyes, nose, ears and mouth; so they named him Ingwingwong.
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Soon a second baby was born. It also had tiny ears, eyes, nose and mouth. They named him Chingwingwong.
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Then the third was born.
It had BIG ears, eyes, nose and mouth. The parents thought for long and at last named him

SomeThingWrong

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Cartoon Poor Jokes

Here is our Cartoon Poor Joke....We hope you enjoy it.....

Mathematical PJ

This is a mathematical PJ for all our readers. I hope they shall like it and attempt to answer it as well. If you are not a maths student then chances are that you might fail to answer this. But nevertheless please give it a try.
So here is the Mathematical PJ
3 + 3 =8
Bataaon Kaise?
















Bataaon Bataaon!














Nahi Pata?!!










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We shall publish the answers in the comment section after three days. In the meanwhile you may write in your answers there :-)
All The Best!!!!

Cricket PJ

Abhishek Bachchan aur Albie Morkel(SA team ka allrounder) ki bachpan se dosti thi.
..gehri dosti....
lekin jab bhi abhishek bachchan albie morkel se door jata...woh bimaar pad jata..
doctor bhi kuch nahi kar paate...unhone keh diya tha..."albie ko dawa ki nahi abhishek ki zaroorat hai"


aisa kyu???


kyu ki..




John Abraham ne abhishek ko Dostana main kaha tha..."jaane kyu dil chahta hai...tu hai toh ALBIE allright...ALBIE allright"