Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Santa Banta Joke PJ



Once Santa and Banta were Driving a bike. Both of them trying to chase each other down. In the attempt to chase Santa's bike flies off a bumper and hits an Eagle.
The eagle immediately fell on the ground .. Blood coming out of the eagle's head.
Santa and Banta stopped their bikes and looked at the poor eagle.. Santa Asked Banta, " Oye iska Kya karein"
Banta Replied, " Ise Veterinary Hospital le jaate hai."
Santa replied, " Ye to impossible hai"
Banta , "Kyu???"
Santa , "Bilkul Impossible"
Banta, " Magar Kyu???"
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Santa, " Kyunki Ye ILL-EAGLE" hai (illegal)
:-P

Ha HA...

Funny SMS no 12


Here is another super duper ROLF,LMAO,Funfilled,laughter SMS for you all.. I got this sms yesterday on my mobile phone. It could have been read by you all before. But I could not help but publish this one on www.poorjokes.in
I also made a cartoon of it for you all which I shall publish later. Hope you all like it..
"Neil Armstrong Lands on Moon and sees two man. He asks-Who are u?
Camera-Man Santosh ke Saath Deepak Chourasiya!!!! Aaajtak..."

Character Count 128

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Real Monk



A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?





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The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.


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The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.


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The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.


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That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.


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The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,


We can't tell you. You're not a monk.


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The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.


If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?



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The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.


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The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236, 284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219, 999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.



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The monks reply, Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk.


We shall now show you the way to the sound.


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The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.



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The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key?


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The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.


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Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. Theman requests the key to the stone door.


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The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...


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>...silver, topaz, and amethyst.


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Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door.


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The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight


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But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.


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Sunday, September 6, 2009

SUBMIT YOUR JOKE CONTEST AUGUST WINNERS


Dear Readers,

It is indeed a pleasure to Announce the winners of the Submit Your Joke Contest August Month. We would also like to remind all our readers that the contest is open till the month of December !

There had been a total of 103 entries. And selecting the best one out of these was indeed a very difficult job. Without much footage we would like to announce the winner. The Winner is :

Nikhil Ghai



from Jabalpur (M.P.) He wins a first prize of Rs 1000.

And the award winning Joke is as follows

"Why is Holi the Favorite Festival of people suffering from Piles?
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Cannot Guess???
It is
Because Gu-Lal to unka pahle se hi hota hai..
"



Other jokes/PJs submitted by contestants which were also worth reading are as follows (in no particular order):
Senders Name : KGBHAT

Santa jaa rahaa tha Dilli se Aagra.Raste pe ek station pe santa paani peene utara.Jab vaapas aaya santa ka gaadi choot gaya thaa aur usee jagah Aagra se Dilli jaanevaali gaadi aa khadee thi.Santa ko kya maaloom,gaadi me chad gaya aur usee neechewaali birth pe baith gaya.Oopar dekha tho Banta baitha hai oopar ke birth pe.Oye Banta, kahaan jaa raha hai? poocha Santa.Dilli jaa rahaan hoon,aaya jawaab.Santa bola"bhagwaan,teri kya leela hai,oopar baithe tho Dilli jaata hai aur neeche baitha tho Aagra jaata hai."
Senders Name : Hiren
who was the first INDIAN lady to faly in plane???
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socho socho...
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nahi pata???
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bata du???
she was SITAMATA with RAVAN in PUSHPAK VIMAN!!!!...



Senders Name: Nirmal

1. Teacher: Where do you find a nolegged dog?
Srudent: Right where you left him.



Senders Name: Keval

what will you call a sambar prepared by Mr.REDDY?????

it is "REDDY-MADE" sambar!!!

2. Ek Saap ne mujhe DUS diya......




Maine use 5-5 ke chutte diye...lol...



Senders Name: Vijita

Why is Ekta Kapoor planning to revive Kyunki Saas....?


Ans: She read somewhere that Tulsi can cure Swine Flu.



Senders Name: Aditya

what is frequency ka colour???.....
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think...
as we all know...
freq=1/time...
time ka unit is "sec"
1/sec is also called per second...

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in hindi bhasha,, second is called "pal"
therfore we get "per pal"
and thus its color is perpal or purple...



Senders Name: Kailash
ek aadmi ki biwi kho gayi.. rote rote ram mandir pahuncha aur prarthna karne laga. "Bhagwan, meri biwi dhundh do"..Bhagwan Ram prakat ho gaye aur bole,"Beta, tu galat jagah aaya hai, Hanuman Mandir ja.. Hanumanji se prarthna kar, meri bhi unhone dhundhi thi"



Senders Name: Pawan

Frustated Shayari:

Mere Dil ki malika.... Mere Khwabo ki Shehzadi....
Mere Dil ki malika... Mere Khwabo ki Shehzadi....

Dil Tod Ke chali gayi.....

Kutti... Kamini... Haramzadi...


Senders Name: Sumnesh

ek bar ek sherni bohot ugly hoti hai.use koi sher line nahi deta...
but vo ek bohot acchi shikarin hoti hai.ek di use ek tortoise milta hai(the one who won the race).wo usko pakad kar kahne vali hoti hai tabhi vo bolta hai"dekho mujhe mat maro.mai tumhari help karunga.mai bohot akalmand huu."
than sherni let him know his problem of uglyness.he replierd"bas itni si bat.tum is mountain ki cliff par jakar baith jaao tumhara kam ho jayega".sherni aisa hi karti hai.
jaise hi vo cliff par jakar baithti hai saare sher uspar line marna chalu.koi uspar rose fek raha,koi siti baja raha,etc.etc.
sab heran pareshan batao ye kaise possible hua....












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jab vo cliff par jake baithi to vo"sheone stone" ho gayi na(sher on stone)




The contest for 1000 Rs is still open every month till the month of December. So keep posting your jokes by

Clicking Here

A Very Deadly PJ Quiz.








What's this?



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TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA TA


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Ise bata paane waaale ko advance mai mera salaam....:-)

As usual the answers shall be published on the comments section after three days...

Keep Guessing...

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Frustrating Patient Poor Joke


Some patients can be really frustrating. Especially if they crack PJs. Here is our latest Poor Joke Cartoon Strip dedicated to such nerds which eat the brains of Doctors.
PS: It is the longest cartoon strip on poorjokes.in Your reviews on this would be really appreciated.

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Santa Banta Joke Series No 12







Santa wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:

Tester: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Santa : SEVEN!

Tester : No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Santa : SEVEN!

Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, and two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?

Santa : SIX.

Tester : Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Santa : SEVEN!

Tester : How on Earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?


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Santa : I've already got one rabbit at home

Friday, September 4, 2009

Japanese Poor Joke



In a Japanese house a baby was born. It had tiny eyes, nose, ears and mouth; so they named him Ingwingwong.
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Soon a second baby was born. It also had tiny ears, eyes, nose and mouth. They named him Chingwingwong.
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Then the third was born.
It had BIG ears, eyes, nose and mouth. The parents thought for long and at last named him

SomeThingWrong

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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Mathematical PJ


This is a mathematical PJ for all our readers. I hope they shall like it and attempt to answer it as well. If you are not a maths student then chances are that you might fail to answer this. But nevertheless please give it a try.
So here is the Mathematical PJ
3 + 3 =8
Bataaon Kaise?
















Bataaon Bataaon!














Nahi Pata?!!










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We shall publish the answers in the comment section after three days. In the meanwhile you may write in your answers there :-)
All The Best!!!!

Cricket PJ



Abhishek Bachchan aur Albie Morkel(SA team ka allrounder) ki bachpan se dosti thi.
..gehri dosti....
lekin jab bhi abhishek bachchan albie morkel se door jata...woh bimaar pad jata..
doctor bhi kuch nahi kar paate...unhone keh diya tha..."albie ko dawa ki nahi abhishek ki zaroorat hai"


aisa kyu???


kyu ki..




John Abraham ne abhishek ko Dostana main kaha tha..."jaane kyu dil chahta hai...tu hai toh ALBIE allright...ALBIE allright"

Friday, August 28, 2009

Non Veg Joke No. 7

It is mandadory for all politicians to declare their assets before elections. Now there is a huge hue and cry in the media about corruption in the judiciary. There is a big demand for all judges being asked to declare their assets. While the Chief Justice of India has opposed this, some other judges have no issues in declaring their assets.

The Poor Jokes team has identified a celebrity who has been toeing this line for a number of years now. She has been declaring her assets for ages.







You May Also Like To Read our previous joke on Mallika
Photobucket Pathetic Joke










Thursday, August 27, 2009

Santa Banta SMS Joke Series No 12


PoorJokes.in presents to its readers a 100 Percent Original Santa Banta SMS Joke: Arz Hai,,,,

Santa Singh to his Servant, " Tera Naam Kya Hai?
Servant, " Rameshwar"
Santa, " Khotte ke Puttar, Aaj Se tera naam , Vivek Hai"
Servant, " Kyu Mai Baap?"
Santa, " Daddy ne Kaha Hai Vivek Se kaam liya karo"

You May Also Like To Read
PhotobucketSMS JOKES ON YOUR MOBILE. SUBSCRIBE HERE

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Santa Banta Forwards


Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of His neighbors were strict Catholics .. and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, ''You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."

Santas neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Santa Holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you was born a chicken, and you was born a lamb, you were raised a chicken, and you were raised a lamb but now Yara!!!, you are a Potato and Tomato "!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Santa Banta SMS Joke Series No 13



SANTA BANTA SMS JOKE
Received this one via sms from one of our followers.It is a real classic joke.
PS: You may join our sms list for getting hilarious jokes by clicking HERE. Here goes the Joke:

Sardaro ke Beech Fight ho rahi this
1 Sardar: Saale main tere Kapde Phad ke tujhe Nanga Kar doonga
2nd Sardar:" Oye Serious Ladaai mai Romantic Baatein mat kara kar"
:-P
Character Count:165
You May Also Like To Read
PhotobucketSanta Banta SMS Joke Series No 5

Monday, August 24, 2009

Corporate Communication Joke


Engineer to Team Leader :

"We can't do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the formulation in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these types of projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager:

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature

Project Manager to General Manager:

"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."

General Manager to Vice President :

"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So
they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution."

Vice President to CEO :

"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodelling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances."

CEO to Client :

"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.


You May Also Like To Read
PhotobucketElectronics Engineer Joke










Saturday, August 22, 2009

Ultimate PJ Puzzle

Here is another puzzle for our fans. Please leave your answers as comments.

Question:- Can you name a popular indi-pop song that links the following people?

Joginder Sharma

(the man who bowled the last over in the 2007 T20 World Cup)




The Great Khali

(WWE Wrestler)




Yogita Bali

(Bollywood leading lady of yesteryear and Mithun Chakravorty's wife)

SMS Poor Joke Series No 11


India has so many states, but strangely, all rich people of India live in just one state. Can you name the state which has all the rich people of India?
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Nahi pata??
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Cant think??
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Its easy yaar...

Assam!!!

Why?
Because in India we taunt about all rich people as ," Bada hi maal waala Aasami hai"

SMS Friendly Version : (Just copy and paste)
Which is the richest state of India?
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Assam: Because In India we taunt to the rich, " Bahut Maal wala Aasami Hai"
Character Count : 119



You May Also Like To Read
PhotobucketSANTA BANTA SMS JOKE
PhotobucketFunny Friendship Day SMS

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Swine Flu Poor Joke

Swine Flu, Swine, Pig, Swine Flu India

Here is our latest joke dedicated to Swine Flu which is rampant across the world. Poorjokes.in urges all its members to stay clean and wash hands with Dettol after going to the Loo and reading any content published on this website.


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