Aaaloo Aaaloo

Former Pakistan cricket captain Inzamam-ul-Haq has filed a law-suit against the biscuit manufacturer “Priya Gold”.. because they used the punch-line- “हक से मांगो!!”

© Gareeb Jokes

Bainsla Par Faisla...

Move cursor from left to right to view the full comic strip.. :-)http://www.toondoo.com/embedToonDooV2.swf?userName=gareebjokes&id=373281

A poem by a frustrated mind..

Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai ...
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga mere liye ..
Vo ab se pehle na jaane kitnon ko dekh chuki hogi...
Par un sabko reject kiya hoga usne mere liye !!

Dusron ke affairs dekh, frustration dil mein liye..
Koi mujhko bhi milegi, hum isi ummeed mein jiye..
Jab khud se kuch na ho paye..
To chod dete hain hum sab khuda ke liye..
Yeh soch kar hi khush ho jate hain..
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga hamare liye ..
Par khuda bhi sochta hoga..
Main bhi kya karon aise nikamme ke liye..

Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai ...
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga mere liye ..

Apni kismat ki daastaan tumhe kya sunaae dosto..
Ki jalne se pahle hi bujh jaate hai saare diye...
Jo pasand bhi aae hamei koi ladki agar..
To milti hai agle din apne haath mai wo Rakhi liye..
Na school na college na job mai mili koi kanya..
Rahenge kuwaare ham ab poori zindagi ke liye...
Jo mil jae hamei Jannat ka koi darzi...
To de aae use apni kismat ki chaadar seeney ke liye....

Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai ...
Ki khuda ne kisi ko to banaya hoga mere liye ..
Vo ab se pehle na jaane kitnon ko dekh chuki hogi...
Par un sabko reject kiya hoga usne mere liye !!

© Gareeb Jokes

OSO

The level of lyrics in Bollywood is progressively going to the dumps. Most songs released in the recent past have amateurish lyrics that seem to have been written by college drop-outs. Even chart busting songs from big budget movies have weird lyrics like:-

...Main ghum aaya London, Paris, New York, San-Francisco.
Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

...Mujhe pata chala pichle mahine ki chabbis ko.
Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

Inspired by such crap, the authors of GJ have come up with their own crappy version of the song.

WW says..
Na jagao mere andar ke genious ko..

Apna motto, PJ maaro aur khisko..

Nacho Gao khake Horlicks ko..

PJ maaro.... bilkul na jhijhko....
Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..


WIAN says..
Is ghatiya PJ par maaro pakad kar isko.
Suno yeh ke sadi parody Sar peeto aur sisko..
Aage karo parody wahi ... Pitna hai jisko jisko
Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

WW replies..
Hum wo nahi.. pitne se darr lage jisko..
Hum nakam karenge teri is koshish ko..
Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

WIAN hits back..

Ise india se nikalo, bhej do isey mosco(w)
Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco.. Dard-e-Disco..

© PoorJokes.in

Lazy Bengali

Once upon a time, there was a very lazy Bengali student who used to bunk his classes very often. He was called Bunking Chandra Chattopadhyay !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Scott Adams

What is Scott Adams favorite Hindi Movie Song?
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It is this famous Sushmita Sen item number from the film "Sirf Tum" -
Dilber(t) Dilber(t), haan Dilber(t) Dilber(t),
Hosh na khabar hai, yeh kaisa asar hai,
Tumse milne ke baad Dilber(t),
Tumse milne ke baad Dilber(t).....

© Gareeb Jokes

Return of "Jab Se Tere Naina.."

Continued from here.
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If Mr. Bappi Lahiri buys a Tata Nano, what will his fans sing??
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They will sing the famous Lata Mangeshkar song from the movie "Caravan".

dilbar, dil se pyaare, dilbar
dil kee sunataa jaa re , saaree duniyaa haari hamase, ham tujhape dil haare
dilbar dil se pyaare
Lahiri-Lahiri Nano waale, Lahiri Nano waale !!
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If Mamta Banerjee and Buddhadev Battacharya fall in love, what song will they sing together?
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Nano karte pyaar tumhi se kar baithe,
karna tha inkaar, magar ikraar tumhi se kar baithe..
Nano karte pyaar tumhi se kar baithe !!
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Ufffff....
Sorry....
:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Jab Se Tere Naina

Here is a Cartoon dedicated to Our Favorite Didi Mamata Banerjee who has created a lot hullabaloo at Singur and has given a lot of sleepless nights to Mr Ratan Tata.
Hope you all enjoy it.. Comments are always welcome!!!!!!!

Return of Nagraj Series

Continued from here.

The following PJs have been contributed by Deepak Panwar.
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Snakes ki favorite chewing gum.... Big Fun

Marne ke baad snakes ke upar kya dala jata hai...... Ka-Fan

Aur phir kabristan mein usay kya kar diya jata hai...... Da-Fan

June ke month mein snakes apne bill mein kya chalate hain...... Fan

A Snake's fav actress......... Gul Pa-Nag

Snake's motherland..... Anant-Nag

Snakes ek dusre ko kaise greet karte hain....... Best Vish-es

Hum brunch mein kya khate hain....... Snakes (Snacks)

Ek snake mera friend hai, and his name is...... Vish-al

Which ERP package do snakes use??....... SAP
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And here is one sent by Chhaya
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Q:- Whats a snake's favorite Subject????
A: - Hissssssssstory
:D

SANTA AND "PUN"TER"SERIES

Here is the latest Santa Banta Joke presented to you all from www.poorjokes.in
Hope you all have a blast...

Enjoy.
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Nagraj Series

Q:- जब किसी नाग को कॉमेडी करनी होती है तो वो क्या करता है??
A:- वो अपना "फन" ऊपर कर लेता है (and he becomes a fun-ny snake) !!
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Q:- एक All-rounder नाग को क्या कहते हैं?
A:- हर-फन-मौला !!
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Q:- एक intelligent नाग को क्या कहते हैं?
A:- फन-du (fundu) नाग !!
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:- एक नाग कि favorite movie क्या है?
A:- फन-ना (Fanaa) !!
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Q:- एक artist नाग को क्या बोलते हैं?
A:- फन-कार !!
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Q:- एक टपोरी नाग को क्या बोलते हैं?
अ:-फन-टूश !!
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Q:- एक साँप को कौन से TV programmes पसंद हैं?
A:- साँप-Operas (Soap-Operas) !!
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Q:- बहुत तेज़ भागने वाले साँप को क्या बोलते हैं?
A:- सर्प-अट (सरपट) !!
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Q:- सापों के नेता का नाम क्या है?
A:- सर्प-अंच (सरपंच) !!
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Q:- जो साँप गाना नही गा सकता उसे क्या कहते हैं?
A:- ना-गा (नागा) !!
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© Gareeb Jokes

A Brief Joke

News Headline:-

Shop keepers across the country have refused to sell “Amul Macho” range of undergarments.

Reason sighted was that buyers used to curse the shop owners while purchasing them.

Every buyer used to say “Macho Do !!”

© Gareeb Jokes

Kaal Bhairav

Q:- What do you call a movie theater screening the movie “Kaal”??
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A:- “Kaal” Center!!

© Gareeb Jokes

Bruce Lee Series

Q:- What happened after Bruce Lee died??
A:- He became Dead-ly !!

Q:- Bruce Lee ke gareeb bhai ka naam kya hai?
A:- Ku Lee ...

Aur use gardener cousin ka naam hai.. Maa-Lee !!
Uske Sharabi uncle ka naam hai.. Mawa-Lee !!
Uska favorite festival hai.. Diwa-Lee !!
Uska favorite deity hai.. Ka-Lee !!
Uska favorite music hai.. Qawa-Lee !!
Uska caste hai.. Banga-Lee !!

(For addtional impact, please recite the above lines like Ehsaan Qureshi :-))

Horrendous Joke

Raam aur Shyaam mein jhagda ho jaata hai..
Jhagda itana serious hota hai ki Raam , shyaam ko maarne ke liye kaala jaadu (black magic) karta hai, aur ek Chudail bhejta hai...
Chudail shyaam ke peechey pad jaati hai.. Aur uske khoon ki pyaasi ho jaati hai
Shyaam us se bachta hua apne ghar ke paas ek lane mai ghus jaata hai......

Chudail waha uska peecha karte hue gali mai ghus jaati hai aur ghuste hi paagal ho jaati hai Chudail finally apni jaan bachaakar bhaag jaati hai... Aur shyaam bach jaata hai...


Batao Aisa Kyu hua???


Batao kyu???

Batao kyu?????????????


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Nahi pata???



Kyunki...


Teri Gali "WITCH" aake...

Sab sudh budh hosh gavaake..

Deewani, paagal main tally ho gayi...

"Mein Tally (Mentally)" "Mein Tally" (Mentally) "Mein Tally" (Mentally) ho Gayi!!!!!
( Song from Ugly and Pagli)
Ufffff...
Ufff...
Sorry..
:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

James Bond

एक बार जेम्स बोंड इंडिया आया. यहाँ आकर वो एक ऑटो-रिक्शा में बैठा.

ऑटो-रिक्शा से उतर कर उसने ड्राईवर से पुछा, "कितना हुआ भैया?"

ड्राईवर बोला, "Rs. 5"

जेम्स बोंड ने उसको सिर्फ़ Rs. २.50 दिए. ड्राईवर ने गुस्सा होकर बोला "मेरा बाकि पैसा??"

जेम्स बोंड बोला, "ढाई Another Day !!"

Marketing

Once upon a time, a vicious gang of robbers roamed the cities of the country. They struck terror in the hearts of residents by their savage ways. After any robbery, they used to murder all witnesses of the crime. And after each murder, they rang a bell to celebrate their hideous deed.

Hence, the Gang was called "Maar-Ke-Ting" !!

Tasty Joke

News Update-
Bharat Heavy Electricals Ltd. (B.H.E.L.) is planning to open a new Plant in Puri, Orissa.
The Plant has been named- "B.H.E.L.Puri"

© Gareeb Jokes

SMS (Sardar Manmohan Singh) Joke

Fast forward to November 2008. Barak Obama wins the US presidential elections.

Indian Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh calls him up to congratulate him.

What does he say?

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"Mu-Barak" ( मुबारक ) Obama !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Bappi-da Series

Bappi da's brothers....

One who gossips a lot.. Gappi Lahiri !!

One who kisses everyone he meets.. Puppy Lahiri !!

One who hugs everyone he meets.. Jhappy Lahiri !!

One who sleeps everywhere.. Nappy Lahiri !!

© PoorJokes.in

Anu Malik

Do you know how Anu Malik got his name?

Just after he was born, his father Mr. Malik Senior picked him up and said, "Here is A-New Malik !!"

© Gareeb Jokes

Dreamzzzzz

What do you call a person who never has dreams at night?
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Swapn-nil !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Return of Bulla Ki jaana Mai kaun... :-)

Ok..
On public demand we are back with another edition of Bulla Ki Jaana Mai Kaun..:-)


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Name the terrorist organization run by Bulls..??
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He He...
Its Hiz-Bull..

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Name the favorite workout of a Bull in a Gym???
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Nahi Pata?????
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Its a Bullworker...


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What do you a call a not so intelligent Bull???
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He He...
He is ia "Dumbull"


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What do you call a weak bull???
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There are two answers to it!!!!!
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"Feebull" (Feeble)
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"Nirbull"

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WHat is Bull's favourite ToothBrush???
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It is "Babull"

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What do you call a Modest Bull???
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"HumBull" Humble

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What do you say when a Bull Falls down ??
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The Bull just "Tumbulled" (Tumbled).
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If you dont understand these jokes then what shall you call these jokes????
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""IntangiBull" (Intangible)
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© Gareeb Jokes