A Dog's World

My dog has started a new project. I wish him "Best of Luck" for the project on which he has em-bark-ed !!
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My dog is a big football fan. He watches Bark-ley's English Premier League everyday !!
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My dog's favorite TV presenter is Bark-ha Dutt !!
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My dog's favorite Bollywood producer is Bone-y Kapoor !!
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My dog work's in Bhabha Atomic Research Center (B.A.R.C.) !!
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© Gareeb Jokes

TaSh(a)rif Rakhiye..

When Mr. Nawaz Sharif was deported from Pakistan some time back by Musharraf, Pakistan became Sans-Sharif !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Bulla ki Jaana Mai Kaun... :-P

What do you call a Chinese Bull????
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Its called a Bull-lee (Bully)..
:-P
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Once a bull felt ill..The Bull went to the doctor. Doctor gave him an injection and he felt asleep immediately...
What was the name of the injection???
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It is called a "Bull-Dozer"
:-P
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Who is the most artistic bull on Indian Era??
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(MaqBull Fida Hussain) मकबूल
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What does a bull's wife call her husband ?????
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हबीबुल (Hubby-Bull)
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What do you call a beautiful bull ????
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बुलबुल (Bull-Bull)
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Which phrase do punjabi bull's utter frequently while dancing?
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Bull-e Bull-e !!!
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What do you call a pair of a Bull and a Lion hanging out together ????
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Bullion (Bull-Lion) !!!
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What do you call a bull coming from Mexico ????
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Bulletin (Bull-Latin) !!
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Who was the 1st bull to be elected President?
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A-bull Kalam !!
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Which country has the highest population of bulls?
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Bull-garia !!
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Which part of India has the highest population of bulls?
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Cham-bull !!
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What is a bull's favorite holiday destination?
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Ka-bull !!
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What are a bull's all time favorite bollywood movies?
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Mission Istam-bull and Ba-bull !!
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Where do all bulls go for pilgrimage?
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Maha-Bull-eshwar !!
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What is a bull's under wear called?
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बुलंदी (Bull-Undy) !!
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What do you call a very heavy Bull???
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He is called as "Bullky"
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What do you call a Bull who is a devotee of Sai Baba?
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Bull's Eye (Bull-Sai) !!
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All the above jokes were quite Incredi-bull !!:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

PJ of the Month - Contender 2

Once upon a time, there used to be a man called Mr. Das.

One day, he had a son.

What was his son called?
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Mr. संडास (Son-Das)

© Gareeb Jokes

Short comings

Once upon a time in India, there used to be a rich industrialist whose height was just 4 feet.

Which car did he drive?

Hyundai Sonata.... since he was so नाटा !!

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WaCaow........

India has vivid pattern of treatments of illnesses.. Morarji Desai once the Prime Minister of India is always remembered for his self healing practices through Urine Therapy!!!!!! I have heard that Cow Urine Therapy works well for Cancer as well!!!

Anyways, all this made me think one day that What do we call patients who are treated by the ancient Indian Cow Urine Therapy!!!!!

Dont Know??

Dont Know???



Dont Know????

They are called as Go(गौ)-Sippers..

Uff...:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Menaka Vs. Pepsi

A few years back, Menaka Gandhi had filed a case against Pepsi, for animal abuse.

Reason:- Pepsi's punchline "Yeh Dil Mange More"

© Gareeb Jokes

Bi-King Joke

Q:- What do you call a quiet person driving a bike?
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A:- Mum-Biker !!

© Gareeb Jokes

PJ of the Month Contender 1

Guys,
This one is seriously one of the best PJ posted over here.. We shall be tagging the best PJ each month and I think it should be one of the contenders...

There was a girl in a small town. Whoever met her asked her just one question:
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "
"Aap hamein Meetha-Paan kab khilaengi?? "

Why?
why??
Why???
Why????


Simple boss...

Her name was " Sweety Paan-dey" ( पान दे )

:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Pathetic Joke

Santa to Banta: " You know there is a Heroine in Bollywood who has tasted potty"
Banta: " ????? Who is She??
Santa: She is Mall-Licka....
Balle Balle....

© Gareeb Jokes

Santa The Priest...

Santa To Banta: How to convert a criminal to a priest????
Banta Singh : Use Perfumed Bada-Pav khilao....Wo priest ban jaega...
Santa: Kaisa???
Banta: Kyunki Perfumed Bada-Pav khane se wo Bada-Pav(Itr) ho jaega...

:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

If someone wud ask me where to find a funny joke , all i wud suggest is the address of any nearby sardarji in the colony... But something even more absurd has happened..
Scientist have found a formula of the perfect joke....
Here it goes...

The mathematical equation for the perfect joke has been revealed by scientists.

The formula - c=(m+nO)/p - was worked out by Helen Pilcher

In the formula, c is the funniness of the joke;
m is the "comic moment" which is arrived at by multiplying the punchline's funniness rating by the length of the joke's buildup.

nO is the number of times the subject undergoes a pratfall, multiplied by the "ouch factor" - the social and physical pain of the indignity involved.
The total is divided by the number of puns, p.
Puns are seen as dissipating the power of a joke because they tend to encourage groans rather than laughter

Jasoos Jokes

Q:- Why is Spiderman afraid of James Bond?
A:- Coz he is..... Spy - डर - Man !!


Q:- What is James Bond's favorite Jeans brand?
A:- Spy-Kar ( Spy कर ) Jeans !!

© Gareeb Jokes

Elephant series :-)

Elephant series :


1. Has anyone ever seen a nude elephant?
Yes?
:-p
No. All elephants have their trunks on. . .


2. What do you call when you find two elephants talking to each other?

Answer: a Trunk Call.
:-p


3. What did the elephant do when he ate from his trunc?

Answer: He just trunc-ate-d
:-p

© Gareeb Jokes

How marriage changes a man..

शादी मनुष्य के जीवन में वो पड़ाव है जब एक आदमी "हस्त" जीवन तो त्याग कर "गृहस्थ" जीवन में प्रवेश करता है..

© Gareeb Jokes

Mad Elephant

Once upon a time an elephant went mad... ( Why?? Go and ask the elephant!!!). He was running around like mad.. In Frenzy tearing through whatever he could get on...In short hell had broken lose everywhere..

He reaches a village where elections for the post of Sarpanch were on full swing.. Surprisingly does not harm anybody and goes right into the polling booth and tries to caste his vote!!!!!!!!

Why???
Why?????
Why????????

Because after he had gone mad, he became a"मत-वाला" हाथी...

:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

Vikram Chatwal

Ever thought why Vikram Chatwal's ( Son of Sant Chatwal) chain of hotels are amongst the cleanest hotels around????

Coz Vikram himself licks (chat) the wall (Wall) to clean them....Thts why his name is Chat-Wall...
:-P

© Gareeb Jokes

The Jeffrey Archer of Archery- Limba Ram

Hi people. .

India once bragged up about an archer named Limba Ram, proclaiming that we found the Arjuna of Kalyug. But he turned out to be a flopstar as most of the Indian players in the Olympics.

So why did Limba Ram perform so poorly in most of the events he participated.. . ?

Because he seriously believed in giving his "limbs" "aram" all the time. .
:-p

© Gareeb Jokes

SMS Sher-o-Shayari (Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein..)

Hi guys.
Fasten up your seat belts. :-p

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mai khayal aata hai. .
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mai khayal aata hai. .
Ki agar mai hu bada boring. .
to mere muh se pani kyu nahi aata hai. .

Wah wah. .

© Gareeb Jokes

Mogambo Khush Hua !!

Recent news reports suggest that Boney Kapoor is going to produce a sequel to the 1987 blockbuster Mr. India. While Anil Kapoor and Sridevi are set to reprise their roles in the sequel, many are wondering who the villain of Mr. India 2 would be, as the legendary Mogambo (who is killed at the end of the original film) and actor Amrish Puri (who essayed the role) are no more.

I have the answer. I believe Shakti Kapoor will be the villian in Mr. India 2. And he will be playing Crime Master Gogo.

Why? Do you ask? Simple, since he is the self proclaimed Mogambo ka Bhateeja !!

© Gareeb Jokes