Sunny (shouting on the top of his voice) : aaaayyyyyyeeeeee!!!!!!...tum mujhe aise arrest nahi kar sakte, mujhe mere papa se baat karni hai!!
Abhijeet : Papa se kyu baat karni hai??haeinnn??
Sunny : Tum shayad jaante nahi mere papa ko....kutto ka khoon peene mein expert hai!!
Fredrix : Sir, isse chhod do....mujhe to lagta hai iska baap vampire hai!!
ACP : chup raho fredrix nahi to naukri se haath dho baithoge......
Daya : Sach sach batao ki 29 taarikh ki raat ko tum kaha the??
Sunny : taarikh pe taarikh....taarikh pe taarikh....taarikh pe taarikh...main us taarikh ko apne farm house pe tha!!
Abhijeet : tumhari saari family sirf kutto ko hi target karti hai kya??...haeinnn?
Sunny : Zabaan sambhaalo....ye dhaai kilo ka haath jab kisipe padta hai, to aadmi uth ta nahi...uth jaata hai!!!
ACP : woh sab to thik hai, tumne balwantraai ke kutte ko mara....fir tumhara baap uska khoon pee gaya...kuch to gadbad zaroor hai!!
Daya : sir, mujhe lagta hai iske ghar pe raid marte hai...zaroor kutto ki haddiya milengi!
ACP : iske baap ko to hum baad mein dekhenge....pehle isse to nipat le!
Abhijeet : sach sach batao kyu mara tumne balwantraai ke kutte ko? haeinn?? mard hote hue ek aisi harkat karme ke tym pe tumhe sharam nahi aayi??
Sunny(shouting) : mard banne ka itna shock hai to kutton ka sahara laina chod de kutiya...doosron ka sahara woh leta hai jiski hadiyon mein paani bhara hota hai
ACP : ohh my gawdd! ye aise nahi maanega...daya, isse apni bhaasha mein samjhao!
Daya comes forward and gives his one tight slap (PHATTTTT!!!)
Sunny(crying) : Haa, maine hi balwantraai ke kutte ko maara hai...
ACP : Kyu mara tumne usse itna be-rehmi se?
Sunny : Usne meri mercedes ke pichhe wale tyre pe susu kar di!!
ACP : my gawd! tumhe to umar kaid ki saza hogi....fir susu karte rehna jail mein!!
ACP,"Abhijeet ab hume isske papa ko doondhna hoga..aakhir isme unka bhi haath hai.."
Abhijeeet,"Yes Sir..kyonki Sunny to paagal ho gaya hai..sirf Tareeka pe Tareeka (ACP O-o)..mera matlab hai tareek pe tareek bol raha hai.."
ACP,"Abhijeet..yeh pyaar ka chakkar tum baad me khelo..pehle ek kaam karo..tum jaake Sunny ko interrogate karo..kuch to pata chalega..Daya,Tasha..tum petshop mein jaake check karo..ki koi aadmi zyaada kutte leke gaya hain kya.."
Abhijeet,"Lekin Sir..woh galli ki kutte bhi pakad sakte hain.."
ACP,"Hmmm..ho sakta hai..lekin galli ke kutto ko rabies ho sakta hai..woh gandhe ho sakte hai..aur Dharam ke paas itne paise bhi nahi honge ki woh kutte ko injection de.."... See More
Fredericks,"Lekin Sir woh to filmstar hai!! Unki paas to bahut pasie hain..meri wife kehti hai ki main bhi superstar ban sakta hoon.."
ACP,"Haan Fredeericks..zaroor ban sakte ho..lekin iss case ke baad..aur Sunny..Dharam ne paanch saal mein ek bhi film nahi ki..to ho sakta hai..ki woh petshop jaake kutt kidnap karte ho..Viek..tum jaake police records check karo..dekho kisine missing dogs ki report likhi hai kya.."
Daya and Tasha go to petshops..and finally see one at which a curly haired woman is saying no to all the dogs..(Vodafone ad)
Daya,"Madam..yeh aap kya kar rahi hai?"
Woman,"main? Sabzi kharid rahi hoon.."
Daya,"Heiiinnnnn.."
Woman,"Dogs ki dukaan mein dogs hi milenge na..waise aap kaun?"
Tasha,"Hum CID se hain.."
Woman,"C-C-C-C-CID!!"
Daya,"Haan.."
Woman finally selects a dog and goes (Vodafone ad)
Tasha,"Sir..aapko kuch ajeeb nahi laga?"
Daya,"Kya?"
Tasha,"Sir usne achche dogs reject kiye aur ek ganda curly dog leke gayi..."
Daya,"Chalo..uska peecha karte hai.."
They follow her to her house..she goes in..comes out and leaves..
Tasha,"Sir..woh to gayi ab hum uska ghar check kar sakte hai.."
Daya,"Chalo.."
Tasha,"Darwaza band hai...Sir.."
Daya,"To kya?"
SLAM!!
Daya and Tasha go in..and they immediately call Abhijeet..and tell him to come here..
Abhijeet enters the house..
Abhijeet,"MY GAWD!!"
Daya,"Main bhi yehi bolne wala tha..alekin yeh to tumhara dialogue hai.."
Abhijeet,"Itne saare kutto ki hadiyan.."
Daya,"Mujhe to lagta hai yeh ladki hi Dharam ke liye kutte laati hogi.."
Abhijeet,"Inhe Forensic lab le jaate hai.."
At Forensic..
Dr.Salunkhe,"Boss..maine sab check kar liya hai..yeh kutto ki hi haddiyan hai.."
ACP,"Aur kuch? Yeh to hume pata tha.."
Dr.Salunkhe,"Lekin kya aap ko yeh maloom tha ki yeh kutte pehle maare gaye..phir inka khoon peeya gaya
tha.."
ACP (from O-o to O-O),"Kya!??"
Dr.Salunkhe,"Haan ACP saab..inn kutto ki bones pe lage thode se flesh ko maine ANTD kiya to mujhe pata chala ki inka flesh bahut sukha hai..aur khoon bahut kam.."
Abhijeet,"Mujhe to kuch gadbad lag rahi hai Sir.."
ACP,"Haan..mujhe bhi..aur iss gadbad ka ilaaj sirf uss ladki ke paas hain.."
They go back to the house..a new door has been installed..
Abhijeet,"Daya..darwaza band hai!!"
ACP, "Daya darwaza todh do" :P
Daya,"Naya darwza!! (Yippee!! Yay!! mann mein ladoo phut rahe hai)
SLAM!
Woman is standing dangerously with a gun in one hand and a dog in another..
Woman,"Aage mat aana nahi to main iss kutte ko maar doongi.."
Abhijeet,"Dekho..gun neeche rakho..hum baat karte hai."
Woman,"Nahi..jabse Sholay dekhi..tab se dekhna chahti thi kutte ka khoon ka kaisa hota hai..aaj jab main itne kutto ka khoon pee chuki ho..tab mujhe aadat si ho gayi.."
Daya,"Tum kutto ke khoon se addicted ho!!"
Woman,"Haan!! Main addicted hoon!!"
In the meantime Vivek appears from the window..grabs the gun and a fight ensues..
Abhijeet,"Batao..tumhara Dharam ji ke saath kya connection hai?"
Woman,"Nahi.."
Tasha,"nahi batayegi.." Slap!!
Woman,"ACP Sir..main hi Dharam hoon.."
ACP (again from O-o to O-O),"MY GAWD!!'
Abhijeet,"Heiinnn.."
Daya (removing his hands from his pockets),"Tum Dharamendra ho!!"
Woman,"Haan..jab mujhe film nahi mil rahi thi..tab mere paas paise bhi nahi the..isiliye maine socha ki agar main ek khoobsurat ladki ban jaao to mujhe roles bhi milenge aur main kutte bhi kharid sakoongi kam price mein..isiliye maine face mask lagakar ladki banne ka naatak kiya.."
ACP,"Ab to tumhe faansi hogi faansi..aur woh bhi kutto ke khilaaf jurm karne ke liye..PETA tumhari khatiya khadi kar denge..ab jail mein baithke chuhoon ka khoon peena seekh lena..wohi milenge.."
really fantastic!
ReplyDelete