In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also. On its first day after arrival,the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India .
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but .. Did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
Moral of Story : Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family dr to discuss the problem. the dr told him there is a simple test the husband could perform to give the dr a better idea about her hearing loss. so with that info, the husband went home to try it out. that evening the wife is on the kitchen cooking dinner and he was on the den. he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's se what happens. then on a normal tone he asks, "honey, what's for dinner?" no response. so the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "honey, what's for dinner? still no response. next he moves to within 20 feet of his wife and asks, "honey, what's for dinner? " again he gets no response
A little boy was doing his math homework He said to himself, "Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight. Three plus four, that son of a bitch is seven...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom.""And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked."Yes," he answered Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH s four."
