Bad Prince

Submitted Again by Ravindra Yadav !!!!!!

Santa Banta SMS Joke

Train mai Santa Singh ke 50 rupees kho gaye,....
Bahot dhoondhne par bhi 50 rs nahi miley...
Tabhi saamne baithe hue Musalman ne kaha, " Ya Allah, Bismillah"
Santa Singh Shouted, " Abe Saale, 20 tujhe mil gaye, to baki 30 kaha gaye ??????? "

Santa Banta Poor Joke

Sardar pee ke lauta. Wife ki daant se bachne ke liye badi si kitaab leke parne laga.
Wife: Aaj phir se pee ke aaye ho?
Sardar: Nahi to...
Wife: To phir suitcase khol ke kiun bak-bak kar rahi ho???

Funny Picture of the Day

Submitted by Ravindra Yadav !!!!!!
:-)

Electrifying PJ

Aamir's Mother asks Aamir  , " Beta ye aajkal Bijli ka Bill itana zyada kyu aa raha hai????? "
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
Aamir raplies, " Mai kabhi batlaata nahi... Par andhere se darta hu mai Ma !!! "

Barsaati Poor Joke

Once there was a Toad.
He got injured during a rainy season trying to jump from a tree into a pond. He hurt his leg and would always cry in pain.
Dramatically, he also developed a knack for artistic things soon after he met with the accident.
Why???
Whyy????
What happened to him that made him so artistic???
?
?
?

?
Socho Socho !!!!
Nahi Pata???
Simple hai Yaar !!!!
After he got inured , he was always in pain !!!!
Iska matlab hua ki wo Pain - Tarrrrrrr ban Gaya tha !!!!!

Jhel Sako to Jhel Lo...

Ek ladki bahot zyaada moti thi... koi bhi us se shaadi karne ko raazi nahi tha...

Motape se tang aakar ladki Gym jaane ki thaan leti hai..2 Mahino ki kadi mehnat se wo ladki apne figure ko 36-64-36 mein change kar leti hai.. Us ki bilkul perfect V shape body ban jaati hai...

Apna naya figure dekhkar ladki apna naam bhi change kar leti hai...
Batao Vo Ladki apna naya naam kya rakhti hai??
.
.
.
.
.
.
Uska naya naam tha................." Tan-V" !!

© PoorJokes.in

Raja Bundela

Once upon a time, a small village in India was suffering from a severe drought. All the crops had failed. People were dying of hunger. W

Astrology Joke

Santa Singh:- Oye Bante! I am looking for a good astrologer. Where can I find one?

Banta Singh:- You can meet my sister Jyoti Kaur.

Santa Singh:- Great yaar! Is she a famous astrologer?

Banta Singh:- She is not famous. But I am sure she is a great astrologer.

Santa Singh:- Have her predictions come true in the past?

Banta Singh:- I don't know. But I am sure she is a great astrologer.

Santa Singh:- Has she done any course in astrology?

Banta Singh:- No. But I am sure she is a great astrologer.

Santa Singh(getting angry):- Does she know anything about astrology?

Banta Singh:- I don't know. But I am sure she is a great astrologer.

Santa Singh (boiling with anger):- Are you trying to play a prank with me??? Your sister Jyoti Kaur knows nothing about astrology. But you claim that she is a great astrologer!!

Banta Singh:- Are bhai. She is Jyoti. i.e. Jyoti-she (ज्योतिषी)!!

Raavan Jokes

Once upon a time, there was a family. It consisted of a husband and a wife. Both of them wanted to have a daughter. But every time the wife conceived, a son was born. Year after year, the number of sons in the family kept increasing, but a daughter was never born. As the sons started growing up, they too started yearning for a sister to play with.

After many years of trying in vain, the family finally turned to God for help. The husband, wife and all sons began praying to God for a girl to be born in their family.

Can you guess what was the song that they sung as a prayer?

Well.. It was the hit song from Mani Ratnam's new movie "Raavan"..

"Behne de, mujhe behne de" !!!!

CID Ultimate PJ Shayari

Hum hai raahi pyar ke hamse kuch naa boliye ...

wah wah

hum hai raahi pyar ke hamse kuch naa boliye ... ..

ACP pradyuman ab to aap hi is case ke sare raaz kholiye.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Himesh Ne Pehlibaar Baal Kaat ke Muh Se Gaya HAi 

WAh WAhh 

Himesh Ne Pehlibaar Baal Kaat ke Muh Se Gaya Hai 

Daya ne khooni se keha 

"Tere baraaat Ka Intezam Humne jail me karwaya hai"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Osama ka aatank America pe chaya tha... 

Osama ka aatank America pe chaya tha... 

iska matlab Abhijeet, 

Khooni balcony se hi aaya tha!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All Jokes Submitted by our FACEBOOK FAN Chetan Saxena :-)

Thanks Chetan :-)

Santa Banta Jokes Cartoon

Here is the Latest Santa Banta Cartoon !!

Sardarji Jokes Revisited

ek Sardar ek bada Pole ki Height naapna chahata hai. Wo Pole ko  ek deewar se lagaa kar khada karta hain. Phir  Measuring tape leke uspe chadhne lagta hain.
Par baar baar gir jaane ke karan Sardaar Pole ki Height nahi naap paata.

Ek aadmi aa ke bolta hain,"Oye Sardar, khambe ko jameen pe leta de aur phir height count karo yaar."
to batao Sardar usse kya bolta hain?
.
.
.



.


..



.
.
.
.

.


.

.

.

socho
.

.

.

.


.

.

.
.


.

.
.

..



...



aur socho..






.

.





...


.
.
.

.

.
.

.

.bata duun??
.


.


.

.
.
.

..

.
....

.

..
..
.
.
wo bolta hain - "Abe mujhe lambaii nahi, unchaai count karni hain!!!"

Hathi Cheeti Jokes Part 3

The Ant and Elephant on bike meet with accident.

The ant survives elephant dies

Why?

































scroll




































































obv casue ofthe helmet now for the part 2






Ok Again they are on bike and both wear a helmet still only elephant dies.......
Why?






think





think




think
























































































the Elephants helmet was not ISI marked


hahahaha

Funny Leave Letters

Some Leave letters Enjoy

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my
wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was
performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was
performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for
it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may
not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I
request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at
home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist
and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the
past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am
applying for the post.

Iron Man 2

Animal Poor Jokes

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A:Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an
Aspirin.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: What does an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
A: They're both blue, except for the elephant.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming
over the hill?

A: Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him
until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue
elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him
until he
turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Aw, come on, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!

Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees.

Q: Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: No? See how well the trick with the red eyes works?

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
A: Any damn place where he pleases!

Q: Why is an elephant covered in wrinkles?
A: Ever try to iron one?

CID Shayari Fan Post 4

Water or Sky Ka Color Blue Hai.

wah wah.

.

.

Water or Sky Ka Color Blue Hai.

wah wah .

Dr.Salunkhe Says : IsS Lash Ko To Swine Flu Hai.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

E dilruba mai Janta hu tu yahi kahi hai....

Wah Wah......

E Dilruba mai janta hu tu yahi kahi hai..........

Wah Wah............

Popat BANAYA Popat! ! !....

.

.

Ye CID wala PJ Nahi Hai.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Volume kam kar varna papa jag jayega...wah! wah!.

Arrey volume kam kar varna papa jag jayega....

.

.

ACP-"DAYA JALDI BHAGO VARNA KHOONI HAAT SE NIKALJAYEGA!"..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaj se hum dost hain ao gale milo ! . . 

Wah Wah. . . 

Aaj se hum dost hain ao gale milo! . . . 

Daya ne katil ko ek chamaat lagake bola... 

APNE JAGEH SE MAT HILO.... 

lolz! :D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dhulha, dhulhan, baraat saje..dhulha, dhulhan, baraat saje...

Dekheye sony entertainment channel pe CID, 

.

.

Somwaar se shukrwaar raat 8 baje...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rin ka bhaav Tide se kam hai. 

Wah wah 

.

.

Rin ka bhaav Tide se kam hai. . . . . . . . .

Oh My God! 

.

.

.

Abhijeet,gadi me bomb hai

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All The CID Shayari submitted by none other than our Facebook FAN Mr Chetan Saxena

Thanks alot Chetan :-)

 

 

CID Latest PJ Shayari

चावल जब उगाया जाता है खेतो में तो फसल को कहते है Paddy !!!! 

पूरी CID की टीम में सबसे बड़ा कॉमेडी है Freddy

Cyber Ramayana

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs-- RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana. RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with

excellent MEMORY . His brothers,however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs.Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess 'C'ta. 12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTAL RAM as his successor. However, Queen CIE/CAE (Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a life saving HELP COMMAND ,took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid (a real
plotter),and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14 years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE assed thru DOS-rat and he collapsed, power-less. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man was also resolved on LOGGING IN withhis brother.

The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he marry her. RAM, politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to kill her. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRANSISTOR's plight,approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-icha

REPROGRAMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who,with his last breath,cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND,'C'ta urged
LSI-man to his

brother's aid. Catching the opportunity,RAW-van DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN...

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing 'C'ta all over he forest. They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered his

PROGRAMMERS to use powerful 'SEARCH' techniques to FIND the missing 'C'ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to 'EXCITE' the birds and animals not to forget the WEB CRAWLERS'( Insects) and tried to 'INFO SEEK' something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted 'YAA-HOO' but they all ended up with 'NOT FOUND' MESSAGES.Several other SEARCH techniques proved useless.



Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. After doing some local SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE. Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta believed in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around 'C'ta captured Ha-NEUMAN and tried

to DELETE him using pyro-techniques. But Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle.

One of the RAW-wan's SUN (son) almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients and REBOOTED RAM and LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on earth. After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every onelived happily everafter !!!!