If Sachin Tendulkar had a Manager !

This is how Sachin's Manager would 'grade' him during his annual appraisal ...
Hmmm .... So you have put the 200 scorer as your Biggest achivement during past year .. lets analyse this
200 Runs / 147 Balls / 25X4 / 3X6

Agree you have done GREAT BUT BUT BUT BUT ... (there is always a BUT)
25 x 4s = 100  and  3 x 6s   =  18
This implies that you have done 118 Runs in 28 Balls. .... Nice. Very Nice. Excellent.
Also you managed ... 12 x 2s = 24  and  58 x 1s = 58
NOW ... all this means you have done all 200 Runs in only 98 balls ...... FANTASTIC !! WELL DONE >>>
BUT ... (Now comes the BIG BUT)  
This also menas that you have wasted 147-98 = 49 balls

 Considering only 1 run scored on each of these balls you could have earned 49 valuable RUNS FOR OUR TEAM

MANAGER'S COMMENT: Sachin 'only' met the expectations and NOT EXCEEDING (though anyone of our team could not do it) and his Grade is  MEDIUM 
Trainings Recomended for Sachin: Learn from how to STEAL singles. ( you better know what I mean stealing single )

 J
I just couldnt help sharing this here :) Got it as a forward ...
The Appraisal season is just around the corner :)

Mental PJ

Answering Service At The Mental Institute

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

Image Courtesy :http://www.imcclains.com/images/gallery2007/NevalainenSmithLeenaYell.jpg

PJ Way to Celebrate Holi

Poorjokes.in wishes all its readers a very happy Holi...
And suggests all its readers to celebrate Holi this Year in PJ Style.
Here is the Method:
Go to the Person you want to celebrate Holi with and Tell him a Deadly PJ. Wo Gusse Se Laal Peela ho jaega.... Aur Laal Peela hote hi uske sath holi celebrate kari ja sakti Hai...
:-P
Enjoy....

Recession Joke

The following joke has been contributed by one of our avid followers - Ajay Malhotra.

The bollywood movie "Karthik Calling Karthik" released today. During these times of recession, when people are loosing their jobs and are frequently short of money, a more appropirate name for the movie would have been -

"Karthik 'miss-calling' Karthik" :-)

3 Idiots Give Me Some Sunshine Revisited

Here is the New Version of the Famous Song, "Give me Some Sunshine" from 3 Idiots, submitted by A Poor Jokes fan Venkat !!!!!!
Saari umr hum
office mein mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do

Saari umr hum
office mein mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again

Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again


Kandhon ko laptop
Ke bojh ne jhukaya
Client se jhoot bolna tho khud
Manager ne sikhaya

4.5 ya 5 rating laaoge to chhuti, varna kismat futi
Kaam kar kar ke pada Ungaliyon pe
REVIEW, SCREEN aur REWORK ka chaala

Is Project ne to sala poora..
Poora bheja pakka daala


Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do

Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do


Saari umr hum
office main jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….


Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again

Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again


Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na

Holi SMS PJ

Saamne Aaye Sher Ko Maaro Goli...
Waah Waah

Saamne Aaye Sher Ko Maaro Goli...
Waah Waah
2 Din Pahle Aap Sabko Happy Holi !!!!!!!!!!

BatMan PJ

Ek mera dost Batman Returns dekhne gaya....Surprisingly wo Theater ke andar Tennis ki racket leke aaya...
maine poocha kyon?????

wo bola...

Wo return karega to mai kya chup chaap dekhta rahoonga.....

Sardarji Cartoon PJ

Hindi Sardarji Jokes 1

एक सरदार अपने घरके सामने अपने पेढ पौधोंको पाणी दे रहा था. इतनेमें वहां एक पुलीस बाईकपर आया. सरदारजीके घरके सामने वह बाईकसे उतरा. सरदारजीके घरसे 40-50 फीटतक दौडते हूए आगे गया और थोडी देरमें सरदारजीके घरके सामने फिरसे वापस आया. अब वह सरदारजीके घरसे पिछेकीतरफ 30-40 फिटतक दौडते हूए गया और फिर थोडी देर बाद वापस आया. पौधोंको पाणी देते हुए सरदारजी वह सब देख ही रहा था. सरदारजी के खयालमें आगयाकी शायद पुलिस किसी मुजरीमको ढूंढ रहा हो.

''साहब किसे ढूंढ रहे हो ?'' सरदारजीने पुछा.

पुलिस सरदारजीके पास गया. उसने जेबसे एक तस्वीर निकाली और सरदारजीको दिखाते हूए कहा,

'' यह एक खुंखार मुजरीमकी तस्वीर है ... उसीकोही मै ढूंढ रहा हुं... तुमने अभी उसे यहांसे जाते हूए देखा तो नही ?'' पुलिस ने पुछा.

सरदारजीने तस्वीर हाथमें ली और गौरसे उस तस्वीरकी तरफ देखा. तस्वीर पुलिसको वापस देते हूए सरदारजीने कहा, '' नही... नही देखा''

पुलिस तस्वीर वापस लेकर वहांसे जानेलगा. थोडी दूर जानेके बाद सरदारजीने आवाज दिया, '' साहब एक मिनट''

पुलीस पलटकर सरदारजीके पास गया.

'' जरा वह तस्वीर तो दिखावो''

पुलिसने फिरसे तस्वीर निकालकर सरदारजीके पास दी.

सरदारजीने थोडी देर तस्वीरकी तरफ गौरसे देखा और कहा,

'' मेरे एक बात समझ मे नही आती ... इतना खुंखार मुजरीम था तो जब उसकी तस्वीर निकाली तभी उसको क्यो नही पकडा?''

Mr Osama Bean Laden

Strange Similarity between Mr Beans and Osama Bin Laden

  

  

Hindi Sardarji Jokes

एक सरदारजीने अपने गर्ल फ्रेंड को फोन किया, '' डार्लींग आज शामको 6 बजे मेरे घर पर आना ... आज घरपर कोई नही है''

अपने बॉय फ्रेंड के कहे अनुसार सरदारजीकी गर्लफ्रेंड बराबर शामके 6 बजे सरदारजीके घर पहूंच गई और पुरे एक घंटे तक घरमें इधर उधर ढूंढती रही क्योंकी सचमुछ घरपर कोई नही था... सरदारजी भी.

Sardarji Jokes

http://static.toondoo.com/ToonDoo.swf?id=1428067

By poorjokes

Deadly PJ of the Week !

Happy Weekend Readers !!!
Here is the Deadly PJ of the Week for you All.
Is Kangna Ranauts Smile Different from Amitabh Bachchan ?
Answer is Yes.

Because Emran Hashmi singss to Kangna Ranaut in the movie Gangster : " Teri Ada. Teri Hasi ... AURO se hai , bilkul Juda ..."

Image Courtesy : http://video.ilovekolkata.in/seyretfiles/uploads/thumbnails/user_62/amit_vid%281%29.jpg

A Deadly Freezing Poor Joke

On Visiting which part of India you may expect your mouth to freeze Completely??

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?

Nahi Pata??
?
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Simple hai Boss.
Its Jam-mu
:-P

Image Courtesy : http://trettinanting.blogspirit.com/images/medium_freezing.jpg

Why You Should Never Publish Your Pictures on the Internet !

Knockout PJ

All of us are aware of the legendary musician in Akbar's court, Tan Sen. Though he was regarded as one of the Nav-Ratans by Akbar, a noted historian as informed the Poor Jokes team about a dark secret about his family.

Tan Sen had a notorious twin brother, who practiced black magic.

His name was...............

Sa-tan Sen (शै-तान सेन) !!

© PoorJokes.in

Santa Banta Deadly Joke

Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the
middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the
plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some
time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the
sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old
lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the
sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air
hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally
the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the
sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,
the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji. Capt.
replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All
others will go to Jalandhar."

Seperated at Birth (Salman and His Fan )

 

 

Dhoni Ka PJ

Dhoni was yelling "Hamaaree Maangen poori karo" at the recent India South Africa Test Match...why??


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Because he was on strike.

Arz Kiya Hai

Arz Kiya Hai .......

.Chambal ki ghati me mile mujhe 11 kiss
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.Gaur farmaiyega
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.Chambal ki ghati me mile mujhe 11 kiss
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All the investments r subject to market risks

Saurav Ganguly Sachin Tendulkar Joke

Sachin and Ganguly were thinking about life after death. sachin asks that whether there is cricket in the heaven. Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I
dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll
come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven,
and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on
it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes
on.



One day soon afterward, Ganguly is sitting there
feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice
whisper, "Sourav... Sourav!"



Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"



"Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.



Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So, is there cricket in
heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and
bad news." "Gimme the good news first,"

says Ganguly.



Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven."
Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad
enough to ruin that!?"



Sachin sighs and whispers,
.



"You and me, We are going to open the innings on Friday."

Mango PJ

The summer season is coming... So here is a joke dedicated to my favorite fruit :MANGO.

Where do u find MANGOES..?

Mango tree?

NO


Fruit shop?

NO










ANS:

where ever WOMAN goes

Peeche-Peeche MAN goes!

Hippo ka Poor Joke

A Tiger Kills a Goat...

A Hippopotamus Sees that...

Tiger asks Hippo not to tell that in the court...

Hippo refuses...
WHY?




BECAUSE HIPS DON'T LIE !!!

Cartoon of the Week !

Funny Valentine Day SMS Shayari Collection

Here are funny Valentines Day SMS and Shayari for you all to send to your beloved ones !

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

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Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum…

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Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

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Woh hamari gali me aaye…
Woh hamari gali me aaye…
Woh hamari gali me aaye…
Aur chillake bole…..
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!

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Teray husn ki kya taarif karoo, tera bander jaisa hai moo
Teri zulfo ki kya taarif karoo, teray ek ek baal pe hai joo

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Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per
Sadqey jaoon tumhari patli kamar per …

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Image Courtesy : http://www.funny-potato.com/images/valentine/funny-images/funny-valentine.jpg

Videshi PJ (Poor Joke)

Which part of India has the highest concentration of fair skinned people?

Socho.. Socho..

Chalo ek hint diya..

It's a suburb of Mumbai..

Ab to guess karo..

Simple has boss..

It is Goregaon (गोरे-गाँव) !!

What If

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 7; the seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

क्या होता अगर अगर मै ये ब्लॉग ही नहीं बनाता,
मुझे वैसे भी कुछ ख़ास लिखना नहीं आता !
सड़े गले जोक्स न बनते,
और मै लोगो का सर भी नहीं खाता !

क्या होता अगर मै ये ब्लॉग नहीं बनाता !!

यू तो ब्लॉग बनाना चुटकियो का है काम ,
पर बिना talent के ब्लॉग चलाना , बहुत ही मुश्किल है अंजाम !

आओ मै तुम्हे अपने ब्लॉग की कहानी हूँ सुनाता ,
अपनी कुर्सी की पेटी बाँध लो क्यूंकि मैं बहुत हूँ पकाता !!!!

BIT की वादियों मे रहते थे दो जमूरे ,
दोनों जोक्स बनाते थे, पर आधे और अधूरे !!

Junta उनके जोक्स सुनकर अपने कान थी खुजाती ,
उनके बारह बजते देखकर इनकी बाछे खिल थी जाती !!

पूरे कॉलेज मे उनके जोको से मच गया था बवाल
जहा भी दिख जाते ये दोनों नमूने, लोग कूद जाते दीवाल !

उनके P J सुन सुन कर पूरा कॉलेज गया हिल
Jack and Jill Went up the hill !!! :-P

पढ़ लिख कर भी दोनों बन गए professional,

पर फिर भी आई न इनको ज़रा भी अक्ल..
और P J को इन्टरनेट पर फ़ैलाने की इन्होने कसम खाई
22 / 7 = Pie

पर दोनों के दिमाग मे एक बात कभी ना आई ,
कॉलेज मे तो दोस्त लेते थे झेल ,
इन्टरनेट पर पब्लिक कहा से लाओगे, मेरे भाई !!!!!!!!
44/14 = 22/7 = Pie !

दही का मज़ा लस्सी मे ,
और जोक्स का मज़ा हस्सी में होता है !
और Bottomline ये है
की इस ब्लॉग मे followers का बिग टाइम टोटा है !

अगर मै ये ब्लॉग नहीं बनाता,
तो अपनी कला का अपमान होने से बचा लेता !!
बाथरूम में खुद को जोक्स सुनाकर,
इस दिल को बहला लेता !!

वैसे भी हमारे जोक्स सुनकर लोग कभी हस नहीं पाते
PJ का काम रुलाना है हसाना नहीं
ये लोग कभी समझ नहीं पाते

छुप छुप कर रात को ,लोगो के ब्लोग्स पर जाता हू
Nice article, You are brilliant , Very Good , लिख कर आता हू !
पर bloggers बहुत चालु है , सब समझ जाते है ,
Very Funny, Ha Ha Ha, LOL, लिख कर , सरपट भाग जाते है !

कब तक ये खेल तमाशा चलता रहेगा मेरे यारो ,
मै बन गया हू देव दास, और पब्लिक बन गयी है पारो !

blogging की इस तनहा दुनिया मे मैंने लिया ये lesson
blogging का ये काम दोस्तों मांगे बहुत Passion
घर मे चाचा, मामा, दादी , अंकल , भाभी, ताई
इन्टरनेट पर अपना ब्लॉग बन जाता अपना भाई !

इसलिए ये ब्लॉग बनाकर किया हमने एक नेक काम
एक ऐसा यार बनाया,जो दुनिया मे करेगा अपना नाम !!
:-)

*

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Fislan bhara PJ

An old indian lady who was going back home in England after shopping, suddenly slips on some ice and falls down. Por Lady in grief screams, "Hai mere kismat."        ...............................................
Then an english man walks past and says "Hey Merry Christmas to you too!"

iPad Vs iStone

A visual comparision between the Ipad and the iStone. Please have a look...

And here is the Evolution of Apple with respect to time: